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He’d never been afraid of anything.
Until now.
Until this very fucking moment.
He reached under his shirt and pulled out his beaded necklace. With his eyes still closed, he touched every bead until he got to the amulet at the bottom. He wrapped his fingers around it and squeezed.
Strength, protection and courage.
He could use all of that about now.
He opened his eyes, dropped the necklace once again under his shirt, blew out the breath he’d been holding and turned the knob, shoving open the door.
His apartment was quiet and at first glance, Shay was nowhere to be found.
But he knew where she was.
He crossed the dozen feet from the stairs to the glass sliders and saw her out there. Using the table set he’d purchased for her so it was easier for her to work outside when the weather was nice.
The table also had a hole in the center for a large umbrella and he’d bought her one of those, too. Being mid-September, the weather was still hot and humid. The sun could easily burn her fair skin.
She didn’t worship the sun like Liz did. That was just one more way she was the total opposite of the former sweet butt.
He didn’t want to have this conversation outside, so he slid open the glass door a crack and asked, “Sweetheart, you done soon?”
His heart skipped a fucking beat as she lifted her head and turned her dark brown eyes in his direction.
Then she smiled at him.
Since he caused that smile, it belonged to him and him alone.
He took a snapshot of her in his mind and hoped it wasn’t the last fucking smile she ever gave him. If it was, he wasn’t sure how the fuck he’d survive it.
Yeah, he was. He wouldn’t.
The first thing he did every morning was roll over, brush the hair out of her face and waited until she woke up to give him that smile. Not only on her lips but in her eyes.
Fuck.
“I just emailed Trip the website link for him to approve the work. Do you want to see the final site?”
He shook his head. “Not right now.”
He’d already seen bits and pieces of the website as she’d worked on it. Occasionally she’d ask him for suggestions, so he was sure it was perfect. As it was, Trip was much more anal about that kind of shit than he was. With his attention to detail, the prez would be the best one to catch any issues.
Ozzy wouldn’t be able to concentrate on it right now, anyway. “If you’re done, need you to come inside.”
Even though he’d said it gently, her smile faltered. She didn’t drop her gaze from his as she closed her laptop and stood. If she said anything to him as she gathered her things, he couldn’t hear it over the pounding of his heart in his ears.
The heart that was about to split in fucking two.
He slid the door open wider for her and once she stepped past him, he closed it, staring out at the empty deck for a few seconds before turning and watching her place her laptop and the rest of her stuff on the kitchen counter.
“Is there a problem?”
Problem wasn’t the right word for it. “Just need to talk to you about somethin’.”
She tilted her head and stared at him, her eyes saying it all.
It was obvious she already knew what the first part of the conversation would be about. She’d been waiting for it and one reason she emphasized this morning that she was finishing up the motel’s website today.
She couldn’t hide it in her face. The eagerness. The anticipation.
Which made it all so much fucking worse since she had no idea about the second part.
The part that would hurt.
Maybe even devastate.
Not just her, but him, too.
“Okay?” Her eyes were now lit up, her voice colored with excitement of a possible future together.
He just needed to do this.
Get it done and over with.
But, for fuck’s sake, he wasn’t ready.
He’d never be ready.
“Shay… Want you to stay. In Manning Grove. Here.” He indicated the apartment and motel with a jerk of his head. “With me.”
As she bounced slightly on her toes, and her mouth opened to answer him, he lifted a hand to stop her from saying anything before he could get the rest out. Of fucking course seeing her excitement caused his gut to twist into a tight knot. She wanted to say yes. She would stay. With him.
She wanted to be with him.
And he wanted that more than fucking anything.
“But before you make your decision,” fuck, “gotta tell you somethin’.”
Christ all-fuckin-mighty, he couldn’t do this.
She settled flat-footed on the floor, no longer looking like she just downed a 5-Hour Energy Shot, and her brow furrowed. “What? Did my father have more secrets you haven’t told me yet?”
