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If he hadn’t told Shay, that secret would’ve went with him to his grave.
He wasn’t sure if he should spill it to Liz but he trusted her.
He always had. Always would.
“What I’m gonna tell you stays between you and me, Liz. I can’t go to anyone else but you. Like you said, you know me better than anyone.” He dug into his cut, snagged his tin and his lighter again.
Liz took a quick glance over her shoulder toward The Barn as she waited for him to light the joint.
“You worried what he’ll say if he sees you out here alone with me?” He took a long hit off the joint.
She turned back to him. “No. He trusts me. I trust him.”
“Bet he don’t trust me, though.”
She snagged the joint from his fingers when he offered it to her. She took two quick puffs and gave it back to him. “He’s not worried about you, Ozzy. When you find that connection, the one that’s real and unbreakable, you don’t have to worry about the other person straying. You know why?”
He shook his head.
“Because they won’t do anything to risk breaking that connection. Now, what did you do to break the connection you had with Shay?”
“Can’t say shit to anyone, Liz, you got me? Not even him.”
She hesitated, but for only a second before she nodded. “Okay.”
He took another long hit of the pot and then told her everything.
What happened to his mother. Why he joined the Fury in the first place. What he did to Ham. Why he confessed to Shay and what happened when he did. When he was done with it all and the last word slipped from him, she stood there silently.
The only sounds surrounding them were the crickets, the hoot of a distant owl and the muffled noise of music from inside The Barn.
She needed to say something. And she needed to say it soon.
“Holy shit,” she finally whispered.
That wasn’t what he wanted to hear. Not even close.
“Don’t think I can fix this,” he admitted.
“No, you can’t.”
He didn’t want to hear that, either.
“You can only hope she can accept it and live with it by leaving the past in the past. If not…”
If not…
She let those last two words hang out there for far too long. He knew exactly why.
“But, Ozzy…” she breathed. “Oh, Oz…”
Shit. “Yeah. Said I fucked up. Meant it.”
“You didn’t know.”
“Don’t matter.”
“Did she say anything about going to the cops?” Liz asked.
“No. But that don’t mean she won’t. She was pretty fuckin’ upset.”
“No shit. How could she not be?”
She couldn’t.
Anybody in their right fucking mind would be upset, pissed, and might never get over it.
And that was what he feared.
“She’s such a gentle soul, Oz. From talking to her, she also seems to have a big heart. One big enough to forgive. Maybe not forget, but at least forgive?”
The question mark on the end of what Liz said didn’t give him any hope.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if she simply needed to take some time to process it all. I assume she feels the same about you as you do about her. Well, or did, before you confessed, anyway. Have you tried contacting her?”
“Yeah. She won’t answer my calls or texts.”
Liz’s expression went grim. “I’m so sorry, Oz. I am.”
The one person who might’ve given him hope, just took it and ground it under her foot.
“Here’s the thing, honey. I knew better than to expect more from you, Ozzy, than what you could give. But what we had worked for us for the time we had it. Shay is completely different from me. Hell, she’s so damn different from you, too. This is why it surprises me to see how this has affected you. But if you want her… You need to give her everything. Give her you. If you have to, go crawling to her on your knees. Beg for her forgiveness. Do whatever you have to do.” She hesitated and lifted one shoulder before letting it drop. “Or don’t. Just let her go. Leave her alone and move on.”
He wished like fuck he could move on, but it wasn’t that simple.
It hit him right then that he never appreciated the woman standing before him enough. Another regret to add to his fucking long list.
“All right. I need to go grab a beer and spend some time with my ol’ man.” As she turned away, she froze and frowned. “Wait. Are you going somewhere?”
He glanced at what she stared at. His saddlebags. He normally didn’t have them on his sled unless he was traveling somewhere far. “Been thinkin’ about movin’ on.”
She turned back to him, that frown now even deeper. “Like permanently?”
“Yeah.”
“What about the motel?”
“Trip will find someone to run it.”
“But the club… Your brotherhood…”
“Liz, out of anyone, you always got me.”
She nodded. “Settling down was never in your blood. Where will you go?”
