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I stared at the book in my hand. I’d been ready for her return since the moment she left. I’d kept up, buying the latest books from her favorite authors, buying clothes that I thought would fit her now. I’d been waiting for months to read her a new bedtime story.
My heart twisted at the thought of all I had missed, time that could never be recovered or regained. How long we had been apart. And the fact that someone else had looked out for her enough to buy her favorite books.
I hadn’t been able to do a damned thing to help her, parent her, or protect her.
But someone had. Philip’s mother, I guessed. She was a viper in a pit of vipers, but she loved her granddaughter.
Even monsters loved someone, it seemed.
Other than my ex. He was convincing enough that my little girl felt loved by him, thank goodness. But I knew it was part of his act. He might care about her well being slightly more than other humans’, but most of us were simply window dressing to him.
We didn’t matter. We didn’t count. No one mattered to Philip, other than Philip.
“Well, let’s see what else we have to read,” I said playfully, hiding the maelstrom of emotions inside me. The joy. The relief. The regret.
The joy balanced perfectly against the utter terror I was feeling wondering if I would ever see Vincent again. It wasn’t simply my desire for him. It was everything. His smile. His marvelously intelligent mind. His honor. And yes, the way he loved me and made me love him in return.
I would be a better mother with him in my life. I would be a better person. The whole world would sparkle and shine for all three of us. But only if we had the chance to be together . . .
I found another book in the stack I had bought her and held it up.
“Have you read this one, Poppet?”
“No, not yet.”
“Would you like to hear it?”
“Yes, please, Mama,” my polite little angel said.
She smiled happily and sank down under the covers a little bit more, clinging to her favorite doll. At least she’d had her Bessie to keep her safe during our separation. Although I couldn’t help but notice how tightly she clung to it. Her little fingers were nearly white.
“Why are you so sad, Mama?” a little voice asked after the story was done. I had just pressed a kiss to her soft forehead, inhaling the warm and wonderful smell of her.
“I thought you were sleeping, Angel.”
“Not yet.” She sighed, not opening her eyes. “Why are you sad?”
I shut the light off and sat down on the edge of the bed, smoothing my hands over the covers, unable to stop myself from tucking her in all over again.
I doubted I would ever be able to stop.
“I’m not sad. I am so happy that you’re back home from visiting with your father and grandmother,” I said carefully. I didn’t want her to know he had kept her against my wishes. Normalcy was so important to a child.
So the months of hell for me were simply a visit to her Papa’s house. And that was all she would ever know about it.
But my angel was too smart for me. Her little face looked skeptical. Sleepy, but skeptical.
“You told me never to lie, Mama.”
“I said never to lie to me,” I corrected her. “But a lie of omission is sometimes necessary with others, to protect them or yourself.”
“So, you are sad and you are omitting it.”
“You are far too clever for your age. I cannot pull the wool over these eyes.” I kissed each petal soft eyelid, feeling her lashes flutter against my lips.
“Why are you sad?”
I sighed, realizing she was like her mother. And like mine. She would not let this go until she got to the bottom of it.
“I’m worried about a friend of mine. He made a very big sacrifice for me.”
“For you?”
“And for you,” I said. I never wanted to lie to her, either.
“For me?”
“Yes. That is the truth. And that is enough for tonight.”
“Okay,” she said with a soft sigh. She was satisfied enough by my partial truth, I realized. She was nearly asleep.
I tiptoed to the door, unable to stop myself from staring at her for the longest time. I watched her breathing as it slowed, steady and regular and true. My baby girl was home. She was safe. And soon, I would deal with her father, once and for all.
Even though she loved him, she would be safer without him in the world. And so I would make sure that he exited it before he had a chance to hurt her again.
I closed the door softly behind me, nodding at the soldier standing guard outside.
“Thank you, Mario.”
