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My lips twitched hard and a sense of superiority shot through me. “Maybe he just likes me.”
She rolled her eyes. “Well, that certainly makes one of us, I guess.”
My amusement knew no bounds.
“Done with school now?” I asked.
That’s when the change happened.
I didn’t know if it was because I’d shown her kindness and love. Whatever the reason, her eyes went misty as her lower lip practically quivered.
“I have no one, Murphy,” she whispered. “No one. So you have no clue how much this day meant to me.”
My lips turned up into a small smile.
“I’m here anytime you need me,” I told her bluntly.
That’s when it happened, my slow decline into madness.
She kissed me, throwing her arms around my shoulders, and kissed the absolute hell out of me.
I wasn’t prepared.
I wasn’t ready.
I hadn’t steeled myself to be that close to her, let alone have her press her mouth to mine.
So at first, I responded.
I did exactly what I’d wanted to do to her since I’d seen her last.
But just as fast as it happened, she pulled away.
“Thank you, Murphy.”
I didn’t get my wits about me until I was at home and realized what I’d done.
What was it that I’d done?
I’d fucked up.
CHAPTER 8
Dear burpees, fuck you.
-Sincerely, Mavis
MAVIS
2 months later
“You want me to do what?”
“I want you to go to CrossFit with me,” I repeated.
Fran was already shaking her head.
“I’m not ready to start exercising again,” she admitted.
A while ago—hell, was it a year and a half? Two years? Whatever the exact date was, it felt like a lifetime.
It felt like there was a whole, complete lifetime in between now and when I’d gotten the call about my sister.
One day, around seven in the morning, I’d gotten the call no one wanted to hear—my sister was in the ER for attempted rape and assault. I had initially asked the police to check on her, but I never dreamed that the situation would have been that bad.
When I’d gotten to her, she’d been a shell.
A broken hard taco shell, in a million and one pieces, and there was no way she’d ever be fixed the same way again.
Now, though she was still usable—still able to live her life—she wasn’t able to live it the same way she’d once done.
That meant that we dealt with panic attacks.
That meant that we dealt with her being scared of the dark.
That meant that, when she quit work, I didn’t complain.
That meant that, when she decided that she was going to hide and not live her life, I hid with her.
But I didn’t want her to hide anymore.
I wanted her to live.
“I’ve already talked to someone up there. They’re going to hold it when you can go,” I promised.
She shook her head. “Maybe next month.”
I grumbled in frustration as I reached in my pocket for Vlad’s pacifier that was stashed there.
“Here,” I snapped. “Take this, or he’ll scream the entire time I’m gone.”
Fran took it with a roll of her eyes. “You know he only screams for you. He’s a beautiful baby for the rest of us.”
That was too true.
In the last two and a half months that Vlad had been alive, he’d proven that he liked everyone better than he liked me.
Which fucking sucked.
Shouldn’t your own kid like you?
I mean, I didn’t even get the same kind of smiles out of him that Murphy did when we passed each other in the grocery store.
Hell, then there’d been the time that my grandmother had seen him while we were at the doctor’s office. She’d been coming out of her own cardiologist appointment.
Vlad had smiled at her like she wasn’t the wicked witch of the west.
And when I’d taken off without saying a word to her, she’d called my name, and my kid had up and cried when I wouldn’t turn back.
Then he’d cried all the way home.
That, sadly, was only a handful of instances that had led me to the decision to start back at CrossFit.
The problem? Now that I was working full-time as a nurse anesthetist, the only times I could go was when Murphy was working out, or late at night when I was tired.
Which led me to now.
I was going at the ass crack of dawn, and really not wanting to.
Even worse, when I got there, I instantly got a scowl from Murphy as I walked in the gym door.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
I rolled my eyes. “I’m here because I either work out right now, or I don’t work out at all. And I need to work out. Bad.”
He looked at me like I was crazy. “You’re not fat.”
I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t say that I was. I’m just…I’m stressed.”
I didn’t want to go into detail.
But when he crossed his arms and leaned against the rig at his back, expecting an explanation, I was unable to stop myself.
