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I’m Ember Davenport, and nothing and no one will crush my spirit again.
Yes, I considered not having this meeting over and over again. But I know it’s something I have to face head-on if I’m ever going to be able to let go of Richard. No amount of therapy will be able to cure me of the darkness he brings and the suffocating grip he has over me. It’s on me. I have to do this. I have to take the control back.
Christopher and I have been traveling hours to get to the jail that is holding Richard until trial, and though we’re both exhausted from the drive and the rush of different emotions, I insist that we come straight here. I need this to stop lingering over me. I need it to come to an end now.
And as I sit down in a plastic chair facing a glass divider, waiting for Richard to be escorted into the room on the other side, I release the breath I’ve been holding. I know it’s going to be hard, but I have no idea just how much until I see him in his orange jumpsuit take the seat in front of me. Even though I know there is no way he can reach me, and the only way he can speak to me is by picking up the phone, and that police are all around us, I still have a moment of wanting to flee. I still feel terror that this man can take me again and I’ll have to live my life in captivity once again.
But I fight back against the urge to run, and I also refuse to let him see the flurry of emotions raging through me.
We both pick up our phones and bring them to our ears, our eyes locked together.
“Ember,” he begins. “I was hoping you’d come.”
“Why?” I ask.
Is it so he can try to control me from afar? Is it because he wants my help to secure better legal counsel? Is it because he wants to yell and blame this all on me? Or is it so he can make me feel guilty for being free when he isn’t?
“I’m going to be in here for a really long time,” he says calmly. “You’re going to have to be a strong girl and live without your papa.”
I slam my hand on the table and lean toward him. “No,” I seethe. “Don’t you dare treat me like a weak little girl. You are not my father. You’ve never been my father. Do you understand that? I’m not going to sit here and let you speak to me as if I’m nothing but a scared child. Those days are over. Over!”
Richard leans back, licks his lips, and gives me a smirk. “I see Christopher has gotten into your head. You’ve allowed the devil inside.”
“You’re the devil,” I say, regaining my calm. “You always have been.”
He shakes his head. “No, Ember. I saved you. I raised you. It’s because of me that you’re even here breathing.”
I take another deep, calming breath. “It’s because of you that I missed out on life. You held me captive in a schoolhouse, tricking me into believing that it was all there was. You made me believe I had no other choice. You kidnapped me. That’s the reality. You kidnapped me and trapped me in your own version of hell, just like you did to Christopher.”
“I should have never brought that man into your life,” Richard spits. “I’m paying my penance for that mistake now.”
“You’re paying your penance for all the people you killed and for all the bad that you did.”
“Hard decisions have to be made in life,” he counters. “You’ll see this soon enough.”
I nod. “Yes, I know all about the hard decisions. Coming here to face you was a hard decision, but I had to come. I had to look you in the eye and say goodbye. You won’t see me or hear from me again after today. Not until I take the stand and help put you away for life, or to aid in giving you the death penalty if that’s what’s decided. I’m not your daughter. I’m not that barefoot little girl in Hallelujah Junction anymore. I never will be again.”
“Christopher Davenport has corrupted you. I know this. I know this isn’t really you speaking. You’ll come around.”
He’s trying to act like my words mean nothing and aren’t bothering him, but I can see in his eyes that they are. He’s losing. He sees this. He hears it. And soon, he’ll have no choice but to face it.
I shake my head and give my own smile. “No, Richard. This is not him speaking. It’s me. All me. And I want you to know that you did one good thing for me. One. You gave me Christopher. He’s a good man. He’s my husband in all ways and forever will be. I have you to thank for that, but only for that one act.”
