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“I know that. I’m asking what you’d want to do if you couldn’t do it anymore for some reason. Let’s say your lungs were fucked up or something.”
He thought for a moment. “I guess I wouldn’t mind coaching kids sports or even teaching physical education. I’ve been loving the soccer stuff Sassy and I have been doing. But you’d need a college degree for that, I think. The teaching anyway.”
“Otto, if you have the honorable discharge, you qualify for the GI bill and tuition assistance. You could get your degree if you wanted to. It’s not too late.”
He met my eyes before speaking. “Maybe I can work on my degree if I end up in prison.”
Chapter 28
Otto
Otto,
I did it. Tisha turned five last week, and I flew to Hobie to find out where you were with the intention of begging you for another chance. I stopped at the ranch and visited with Doc and Grandpa who told me you’d just re-upped for another four years in the navy. Apparently, you’re based in Pearl Harbor, but you’re deployed god-knows-where.
Fuck, Otto. Fuck. They suggested I write you a letter, but I can’t do that to you. How can I tell you I’m ready to be with you when you’re stuck on a fucking submarine for the next four years? And it’s not like I can move to Hawaii and leave Tisha…
Fuck. Did I miss my shot with you? What the hell do I do now?
Walker
(Unsent)
Walker was pissed by what I’d said. I’d only been half joking. On the one hand, they weren’t close to having enough hard evidence to charge me with a crime, much less convict me of one. On the other, I’d decided I couldn’t try to pin this on John Walker either. If I was asked a direct question, I wouldn’t lie, but I wasn’t going to go out of my way to provide motive to the investigator to help pin this on someone else either—especially Seth’s brother.
“You’re not going to prison, asshole,” he barked. “Stop saying that shit. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I reached for his face and pulled him in for a soft kiss. “I know. I’m sorry. But you have to admit it’s scary to even be considered a suspect in a crime you have no alibi for.”
“Do you have any suspicions of your own? Who you think might have done it?”
The earnest look of hope on his face crushed me. What if it was John who’d set the fires? That would crush Seth.
“No, baby. I’m sorry,” I said.
Walker looked at me funny. “You’re lying. Why are you lying to me?”
I blew out a frustrated breath. “Because I don’t want to speculate when the truth is, I have no idea who did it. Can we change the subject? Besides, I thought you weren’t supposed to be talking to me about the case?”
It was his turn to look squirrelly. “I had to recuse myself.”
That hit me by surprise more than it maybe should have. “What? Are you serious? Shit, Walker. That means they really must think I did it.” I scrubbed my face with my palms and tried to stay calm. “What did they say? Wait. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to get you in trouble.”
He shifted on the dock until he was straddling my lap. I wrapped my arms around his waist to stay upright. His solid presence against me and in my arms was a balm on my worried spirits. I pressed my face into his soft T-shirt and exhaled, feeling my shoulders drop along with my blood pressure.
“I love you, Otto,” he said before leaning down to kiss my forehead. “More than anything. Well, except maybe Tisha. But that’s fair, right?”
I leaned back to look at him with a grin. “Yeah, that’s fair. She’s pretty lovable. You and Jolie have done an amazing job raising her, Seth. You should both be proud of the young lady she’s becoming.”
He beamed. “I am. We are. I’m lucky to have her, you know? She’s been worth all the other shit.” His smile dropped. “I can’t wish it hadn’t happened, Otto. I wouldn’t give her back for anything.”
I tried to give him a reassuring smile. “Sweetheart, I wouldn’t ask you to. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe Jolie and Tisha needed you more than I did. In fact, I’m sure they did. And if going without you for a sum total of only eighteen years of my life is the price I have to pay to have you with me all the other years? That’s no different than most couples, right?”
“I’m not sure you can count the first eight years,” Walker said with a wink.
I tightened my arms around him and felt his cock brush my stomach through his shorts and my shirt. “Think of all the frogs I didn’t get to catch with you. All the baseballs I didn’t get to pitch to you, and the playgrounds I didn’t get to chase you on. Think of all the sleepovers we didn’t get to have and the games of toy soldiers—”
