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“Jesus, watching you two is downright painful,” he said softly. “Fine, I’ll let you live in your little world of denial. I’m not that guy, Xander. I’m not a relationship guy, never was, never will be. Yes, I tried for Bennett, because he meant that much to me and no one deserved rainbows and sunshine more than him.”
He swirled his toes in the water, flicking up clear droplets and watching them fall back down to the surface. “But Bennett is Bennett, and I could see that pretending I was enough for him wasn’t going to work. Not for him, not for me. Yes, I touch him and I joke around with him, but only because I know it doesn’t mean anything to him… or me.”
I looked over at the man beside me. He was tall and muscular— the kind of guy who was probably captain of the football team at his prep school and president of the fraternity in college. He was exactly the kind of guy I would have pictured Bennett with.
“You’re perfect for him,” I murmured. “You have everything a guy like Bennett could ever want.”
He looked at me and shook his head. “You really don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?”
“Just fucking look at him, Xander. I mean really look. Stop seeing that kid who turned his back on you and see the man he’s become. And no, he never told me the details about what happened that night, but I know whatever it was, it changed him just like it changed you.”
I held my tongue, even as the instinct to lash out hit me.
“But he’s still that same kid who thought you hung the fucking moon.” Aiden let out a rough breath and then settled his eyes on the horizon. I knew what he was seeing— Woodland Rise. It was a view I lived for, but now I couldn’t see it. I was too hung up on everything Aiden had said.
“He used to call out for you.”
I jerked my head in his direction. “What?”
“In his sleep. He’d say your name and the word ‘sorry.’ Sometimes he’d cry. Never remembered it when he woke up, though. Ripped my fucking heart out every damn time.”
I swallowed hard as my throat threatened to close up. I didn’t want to believe him, but as much as I wished it was all lies, I knew it wasn’t.
“You know why I touch him all the time and say that shit to him?” he asked.
I shook my head. I didn’t want to look at him. I just wanted to escape. I’d been ready to call foul on all his bullshit, but he’d hit me with something I never would have expected from a guy like him.
The truth.
“Because it helps me remember what we are: friends. It makes me not want more. But I still get that little piece of him that’s just so… Bennett.”
I knew exactly what he was talking about, and I wondered what this man’s life must be like to warrant his need for the light that being around Bennett brought into it.
Aiden pulled his feet from the water and grabbed his shoes and socks. “He’s going to stop fighting at some point. He’s strong, but he’s not made of stone, Xander. He might not be there when you finally decide to man up and figure all this shit out.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said quietly, even as my insides churned. “You guys are leaving in a few days. He has a whole other life. We both do… even just being friends again would be tough.”
“He doesn’t need any more fucking friends,” Aiden bit out as he stood and stomped his feet into the boots without putting his socks on. “He needs you!” He shook his head and angrily said, “Part of me wants you to stay the hell away from him just so you don’t break his heart again. But since it never really healed, I guess it doesn’t matter. Know this, Xander, you hurt him and you’ll answer to me. You might think I’m just some rich prick who doesn’t know his asshole from his elbow, but I assure you, when it comes to protecting Bennett, I do know the difference and I’ll kick your ass if you hurt him any more than you already have.”
And with that, Aiden stalked off, leaving me to deal with the shit storm of emotions he’d left behind. When I finally did move nearly an hour later, it wasn’t my tent I began walking towards.
Chapter 20
Bennett
I was startled awake by Bear’s big tail thumping in my face. At some point after I’d fallen asleep, the dog must have turned around, because when I’d laid down to grab a few minutes of much-needed rest before dinner, the dog’s cold nose had been pressed up against my neck.
