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I nodded and was about to ask him why he was carrying a stethoscope on a backpacking trip when Jake turned to Xander and said, “We should probably get moving.”

My eyes shifted to Xander, but he wasn’t looking at me. The insecurity that hit me was an ugly thing and I wanted to cast it away, but as we began the journey down the small incline, I couldn’t help but watch Xander support Jake so he could walk. I wanted to believe I was simply reading something into the way Jake leaned into Xander, but I kept remembering the way he’d looked at Xander when he’d handed him the first aid kit.

“So how did you guys meet?” I found myself asking, though it wasn’t the real question I wanted to ask.

I heard Jake’s soft laugh before Xander spoke up. “We met several years ago on an expedition to Patagonia.”

“What were you doing in Patagonia?” I asked.

Jake answered. “It was an organized trek across Nef Glacier and Soler Valley. Simply beautiful terrain. A once in a lifetime trip.”

“Bennett, you would have loved it,” Xander added. “Remember when we did that science project about glaciers and we had to learn all the terminology?”

I thought back to fifth grade. “Weird words,” I said. “I can't remember them, though.”

“Kettles and drumlin,” he reminded me.

I turned to look at him, sure the smile on my mouth matched his. “I remember now. We said it sounded more like the name of a half-decent band than parts of a glacier.”

As we came upon a large, open meadow, Jimmy took off running through the flowers to climb on a big flat boulder in the middle of the field.

“Exactly. Well, Jake and I got to see glacial kettles and drumlin in person.”

Jake cut in. “And when we got back to the hostel, I got to see what Xander here acts like when he drinks enough to get giggly.”

That swirl of jealousy went through me again, only this time because I realized Jake had known Xander as an adult. I hadn't known Xander since he'd been old enough to drink. Or smoke or do any number of other adult things. Maybe I didn't know him as well as I thought. What if he did drugs? What if he was into group sex? What if there was something about me that he found strange?

“A giggly Xander, huh?” I said, for lack of anything else clever. “I've never been around Xander when he's had anything to drink.”

“He's adorable. So funny that after I moved here, I introduced him to my homemade ale so I could get him drunk as often as possible.”

Xander laughed. “I knew you had an ulterior motive for that. I should have never introduced you to Gary. Having a brewery next door has not been good for my health.”

“You live next door to a brewery?” I asked, beginning to feel the full force of my aches and pains.

“No,” Jake corrected. “I bought the cabin next door to Xander’s, and I brew my own beer at home. Xander is my taste-tester.”

“Wait,” I said. “You two met in South America on an expedition but you live next door to each other?” Why did I feel like I was missing something?

When we caught up to Jimmy, Xander helped Jake sit on the boulder to take a breather. I'd been carrying Jake's pack and let it drop to the ground before collapsing next to it for my own breather. Part of me was concerned that once on the ground, I wouldn't be able to get back up.

“No. We met on the trek, but then I didn't hear from him again until he moved to Haven last summer. I hooked him up with Gary for a job as a beginning wilderness guide, and Gary sold him the cabin,” Xander explained.

“So you two are next door neighbors. And you work together,” I said, taking a sip from my water bottle. Part of me wished it was straight vodka instead. Just so I could have been put out of my misery. Had I passed out in that field of wildflowers for the next twelve hours, maybe then I could have woken up feeling stronger and better able to handle both my injuries and my petty jealousy.

I looked over at Xander as he carefully pulled Jake off the rock and put his arm back around the man's waist.

The water tasted like iodine purification tablets, and I realized I'd be glad to get back to civilization again— filtered water and a comfortable bed.

Maybe Jake was a better match for Xander after all. The guy clearly loved many of the same things Xander did. And I could never compete with someone who was that adventurous and worldly. Compared to Jake, I was just some suit from Manhattan who worked with computers and numbers.

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