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“No, I think we’re fine,” I said when Aiden didn’t say anything. Edward nodded and sat down. He immediately tucked his hands in his lap, leading me to wonder if he hadn’t gotten himself a cup of coffee for the simple reason that it would prove his hands were shaking as badly as his son’s.
“Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Aiden,” Edward began. His eyes shifted to me. “I was sorry to hear what happened.” He glanced at my cast. “You’re feeling okay now?”
“I’m good,” I said. “It was kind of you to ask about me.”
“Well, I could see how important you were to my son the night we… the night we met,” he said softly as he looked at Aiden again.
Aiden’s leg was once again bouncing beneath the table, so I pressed my thigh against his. I didn’t care how it looked that we were sitting so close. I knew it was what Aiden needed.
“I’m not sure where to start,” Edward said awkwardly. “I’ve been dreaming of this moment for so long, but now that it’s here…”
Edward dropped his eyes and I felt a shard of pity go through me at how lost he looked. “Loretta seemed very nice,” I offered. “Have you been together long?”
The mere mention of his wife seemed to relax him. He lifted his eyes and focused on me while he spoke. “We got married about a year ago. She… she saved my life.”
Aiden’s fingers tightened on mine just a little. I transferred his hand back to my other one so he wouldn’t have to worry about causing my broken arm any kind of pain.
“How did you two meet?” I asked.
“Through her brother, actually.” Edward’s gaze shifted to Aiden. “He was my sponsor… in AA.”
Aiden’s leg stopped bouncing, and for the first time, he managed to focus on his father. “AA?” he asked.
“I’m 729 days sober,” Edward said.
I could tell Aiden was stunned, but he didn’t say anything. Edward swallowed hard and said, “The drinking started right after… after Danny. I told myself I just needed to get through losing him. Then I needed it to deal with my struggling business. Then divorce number two. Then three. It was always something.” Edward looked around the room briefly, then returned his gaze to Aiden. “But it was never really about any of that.”
Aiden’s fingers bit into my skin. At some point, he’d moved our hands to the top of the table. Edward’s eyes drifted to our joined hands, and I had no doubt he could see that his son’s knuckles were practically bloodless from how hard he was squeezing my hand.
“Aiden,” he suddenly whispered brokenly. “All I seem to do is hurt you.” The man’s eyes were fixed on our hands for the longest time before he lifted them and looked right at Aiden. I could see they were swimming with tears. “I’m so sorry, son,” he croaked. “For all of it. That night, the funeral… now,” he managed to get out. “I just… I just wanted to tell you that I didn’t believe what I said. It wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault.”
Aiden sucked in a harsh breath and then he was frantically looking anywhere but at his father. I knew he was trying to get control of himself.
Or plan his escape.
“I should… I should go,” Edward said as he dashed at his eyes. His voice was filled with despair as he rasped, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”
The man shook his head and made a move to stand.
“Wait,” Aiden whispered, his voice so low I barely heard him.
Edward was halfway to his feet when he stilled. He seemed to be stuck in the position until Aiden once again said, “Wait.”
I gave Aiden’s hand a gentle squeeze and then he was looking at me. His eyes were filled with a mix of confusion and fear. He kept swallowing over and over. As badly as I wanted to take all this away so he wouldn’t have to suffer even another second, I knew the decision he was struggling with was one only he could make. So I did the only thing I could and pulled his fingers up to my lips and pressed a gentle kiss against them. The move seemed to ease a little bit of his tension because he drew in a deep breath.
Then another.
At some point, Edward had sat back down.
“I… I need to tell you something,” Aiden managed to get out.
Edward wisely didn’t respond, and he didn’t push when Aiden remained silent for a good minute.
And then it just began pouring out of Aiden like water. He told his father the same things he’d told me that night on the beach, but it all came out in a rush, as if saying it quickly somehow made it easier.
But I knew it didn’t because Aiden’s voice began to crack as soon as he talked about Danny letting go of his hand. Pain exploded in my chest as tears began to slide down his face. I spared Edward the briefest of glances and saw that his face was twisted into a mask of agony. He, too, was silently crying.
