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“Um, okay, yeah,” I said with a nod.
“Is your brother older or younger?” I asked carefully, remembering his comment about his younger brother being the one he’d lost in the drowning accident.
“Younger. Chase is actually my half-brother. We have the same mother. I think I mentioned that he and I run the agency together.”
The server came to take our order and we handed in our menus before resuming our conversation.
“Enough about me, tell me about you. Did you always want to be a barista?” The question was asked kindly— obviously he knew few people wanted to grow up to be a barista.
“No. I think I mentioned to you that I wanted to play football growing up.”
Aiden nodded. “I remember,” he said, his voice low and deep as his eyes held mine.
It took me a second to remember what we’d been talking about. “Um, yeah, so I was one of those guys who thought he was untouchable, which meant I didn’t have a backup plan when my shot at a pro career went up in flames. The heart transplant meant I couldn’t play football anymore, and I was sick for so long that I had to drop out of school. I was left with half a fitness degree that I’d only been pursuing because I needed to pick some kind of major.”
Aiden’s eyes grew wide. “You didn’t tell me you’d had a transplant. Shit, Ash. Are you okay now? You must have been terrified. Your poor family,” he said, reaching out his hand again to cover mine on the table. I glanced down at it, wondering idly why I didn’t feel the need to snatch it away from him. It felt warm and comforting— protective, in a good way. The move actually helped ease some of the pain that had exploded in my chest when he’d mentioned family.
“My family—” I took a breath before continuing. “Um, no, I lost my mom and dad six months after my diagnosis and before the transplant. Car accident. I was an only child.”
He stared at me for a beat, his hand clutching mine tighter. I wasn’t sure he even realized he was doing it.
“Oh god, Ash. How did you… Jesus, how did you get through that? Aunts and uncles? Grandparents?”
I shook my head, bound and determined not to mention Billy. I didn’t want to run the risk of spoiling our nice dinner. “No. I didn’t have family. Just a couple of friends who helped. But it’s fine now. I just… well, it kept me from finishing my degree. So that’s made life a bit more difficult.” I tried to chuckle, but it fell flat.
“How’d you end up moving to the city? Didn’t you say you’d only been here like, a year?”
I looked down at our joined hands, torn between feeling an instinctive pull to open up to him and the knowledge that trusting people was sometimes a dangerous proposition.
It was almost like having the angel and devil on my shoulders. The angel whispered sweet words of kindness and respect, assuring me Aiden was thoughtful and sweet and he wasn’t just being nice to me because he wanted something. The devil just cackled— the voice suspiciously familiar.
I hated the bitterness that came over me as Billy’s voice once again tried to snatch away even this tiny crumb of pleasure from me. “I followed my heart,” I admitted, pulling my hand free of Aiden’s. “Don’t ever fucking do that.”
Chapter 9
Aiden
Don’t ever fucking do that.
I was surprised at how quickly Ash withdrew from me, both physically and mentally. The words were unexpected for someone so young and so seemingly innocent. I wondered about the asshole who’d not only broken this young man’s heart, but stomped on it too. Hearing that he’d moved to the city because of another man was news to me, but it wasn’t particularly surprising. And he’d already confirmed what I’d guessed from the entries in his journal— the relationship had been a troubled one. It explained why he’d been so closed off when I’d first met him and why he continued to try to hide from me, despite his natural inclination to want to open up. Clearly, he was struggling with whether or not to trust me.
The irony was that I, myself, had always had similar sentiments about following one’s heart, but hearing Ash say it just didn’t fit.
I watched Ash’s lids lower as he sipped his wine.
“Ash, regardless of what brought you here, I’m really glad you are. I don’t…” I caught myself scraping at my bottom lip with my top teeth and forced myself to stop the nervous habit. It went against my nature to be so up-front with someone, especially someone I was as interested in as I was Ash, but I knew if I wanted Ash to trust me, I had to be willing to give him a reason to. “I don’t usually feel this comfortable around people, but ever since I met you, I just feel… good, you know? Maybe it sounds silly, but I enjoy spending time with you. So just… thanks. For moving to the city, for being in the coffee shop that day, for being here with me now at dinner.”
