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“Ash,” she whispered.
“I’m okay,” I said.
“Come, sit down.” Emily gently grabbed me by the wrist and led me to the nearest table and quickly put the chairs that had been stacked on top of the table back on the floor. I carefully placed my guitar case on the floor next to my chair and settled the duffel bag on my lap. “Let me get you something to drink,” Emily said, her voice high and nervous.
“No, thank you, I’m okay.”
She managed an awkward nod and then sat down in the second chair. Her eyes were brimming with tears. “Oh, honey, why didn’t you tell me?”
I gave up the fight and dropped my eyes. I didn’t answer her question, because how was I supposed to? I certainly couldn’t tell her that even if I’d been able to get past the shame of what I’d let Billy do to me, I couldn’t admit that I wouldn’t have been able to trust the offer of help she most likely would have extended.
“I’m sorry about quitting like I did. It wasn’t my choice,” I murmured. “I never would have left you in the lurch like that.”
“It’s okay, honey,” she said as she stroked her hand over my hair. She gently forced my chin up. “I’m just so glad you’re okay.”
I could feel the tears stinging the backs of my eyes, so I quickly turned the conversation to the reason I’d come here.
“I know I asked you to mail my last paycheck, but is there any way you can give it to me tonight? I know the pay period only just ended today…”
I let my voice drop off because I didn’t know what else to say. It was obvious I was asking for special treatment. Hell, with the way I’d ditched Emily, I wouldn’t have blamed her for withholding my last paycheck just for the inconvenience.
“Sure, honey,” Emily said. Her eyes drifted to my bag and then the guitar. “Ash… do you have some place to stay, because if not—”
“I do,” I lied. “A friend’s letting me crash on his couch.”
She looked at me skeptically, but didn’t press the issue. I could tell she wanted to say something else to me, but she must have picked up on how close to the edge I was because she patted my knee and said, “I’ll be right back, okay?”
I nodded, pulling the duffel bag closer to my body as if it could somehow warm me.
She returned within a couple of minutes and handed me the check. “Do you need some cash?” she asked. “To tide you over until you can get to the bank to cash that?” She nodded toward the check. “I would have paid you in cash if I’d had enough.”
“No, it’s okay,” I said. “I’m good.”
God, I hated using the same catchphrases on Emily that I’d always used on Billy.
“Thank you,” I said as I folded up the check and tucked it into my pocket. I hated that I’d have to wait twelve hours before I could cash it. I’d already made plans to sleep at the bus station, which was just a few blocks from the bank. They had lockers that were big enough that I could store my duffel bag and guitar in for cheap. Once I got the cash, my plan was to use half the money to take me as far from New York as that amount would get me and the other half to try and find a cheap place to stay until I could find work. At best, I’d be lucky enough to have a roof over my head for a few days before the money ran out.
But it still beat spending even one more second in the fancy apartment Billy had called mine, despite him being the one who’d been paying for it since day one.
“Ash, wait,” Emily said as I started to stand. Her fingers once again gently closed around my wrist. I sat back down.
“Ash, would you… would you consider coming back?”
“What?” I asked in disbelief.
“I can put you back on the schedule whenever you’re ready. I think I could even make you full-time in a few weeks… that means you’d eventually be eligible for the health insurance plan and other benefits like paid vacation. I’d still like to get you into a barista position at some point.”
“Are you serious?” I asked. My chest felt unbearably tight, and if I hadn’t known better, I’d have thought it was a problem with my heart. But I knew it was because Emily was offering me something that had been a pipe dream. In the week I’d spent planning my final escape from Billy, I’d imagined going to Emily and begging her for my job back, but I hadn’t had the guts to actually do it.
Not after the way I’d left her hanging.
