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“I’m sorry, Aiden,” I whispered.
But he went on like he hadn’t heard me. “I started dreaming about him last summer after Bennett almost drowned while we were in Colorado. I’ve been having the dream more and more often ever since then. Then I met you, and…”
Another shake of his head.
“And what?” I asked.
“Now it’s always you in the water. You’re calling to me and you’re saying stuff from your journal and I can’t get to you in time.”
His voice became thicker and thicker as he spoke, and I could feel my own tears threatening to fall.
“I need to save you, Ash,” he said so softly that I wouldn’t have heard him if I hadn’t been pressed up against his side.
“I’m safe, Aiden. I got out. I’m safe, I swear it.”
“Please, Ash, I just need to know you’re safe. Please.”
I knew it wasn’t that he hadn’t heard my words. No, he was asking for something else. Something I was just now coming to understand and was feeling myself.
From the second Bennett had told me Aiden wasn’t okay, my world had revolved around getting to Aiden. And now that I was here, now that I’d seen how far he’d fallen, there was no way I could leave him. Not knowing where he was, not knowing if he was taking care of himself— it would haunt me.
Pain slashed through me as I realized I’d experienced this level of fear for a mere hour. Aiden had been going through it for two long weeks.
I couldn’t just tell Aiden I was safe. He needed to see it. Just like I needed to know he was safe from the demons that had been tormenting him from the moment I’d turned him away.
I leaned in to press a kiss to Aiden’s temple. “Aiden, do you think… do you think we could take care of each other for a while?” I asked softly.
Aiden held his breath for several beats before he turned his face into my neck, nodding as he did. But it wasn’t until his strong arms wrapped around me that I finally let out the breath I’d been holding as well.
Chapter 15
Aiden
I didn’t understand where I was at first. My foggy mind managed to process that the sliding doors I was looking at were the ones that led to the bathroom, which meant I was in my room, but nothing else made sense to me.
First off, I was finally warm.
Exceedingly so.
Second, it wasn’t the luxurious softness of my pillow beneath my ear.
Third, my pillow didn’t normally make a soft thumping sound, nor did it cause my head to gently rise and fall every few seconds.
And finally, unless I’d had a complete and total mental break from reality, my pillow didn’t have fingers that could toy with my hair.
Which meant the little bits and pieces of memory that were slowly beginning to return to me were real.
Ash really had come to find me. He’d really asked if we could take care of each other. He really was currently lying in bed with me, his chest cradling my head and his fingers alternating between playing with my hair and running up and down my spine. And it was the strong, steady beat of his heart I was hearing beneath my ear.
The heart that had kept my Ash alive.
That someone had been generous enough to gift to him in their time of agonizing pain and loss.
I tried to remember exactly what had happened after Ash had found me at the Conservatory, but it wouldn’t all come back to me. There was an image of a very worried Bennett in my head as Ash and I had walked hand in hand toward the main entrance to the Botanical Gardens. Someone had murmured something about the keys to my apartment. I did remember Bennett’s damp eyes and bone-crushing hug as he’d told me he’d call to check on me later. And there’d been the sensation of Ash’s fingers wrapping around mine as he’d led me to my bedroom and helped me out of my clothes and into a pair of sleeping pants and a T-shirt. Then Ash’s warm body had been pressed against mine beneath my familiar comforter. He’d probably said a lot to me from the time we’d left the Botanical Gardens to the time we got to my place, but all I remembered were a few soft words whispered into my ear.
I’ve got you, Aiden. Just sleep, okay?
I had no clue if I’d answered him or not, or if he’d stayed with me for however long I’d been asleep.
All I did know was that I’d finally managed to close my eyes and not see Ash’s beautiful eyes holding mine as the ocean swallowed him in its depths.
My body hurt all over, which didn’t make sense since I hadn’t done anything in recent days to warrant it. I hadn’t even bothered working out. The most I’d done was walk.
