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Which wasn’t unusual since Aiden was an early riser— a super early riser if the last couple of mornings had been anything to go by. Though I wasn’t sure how much of that was about preferring to get up early versus not being able to get back to sleep after one of his many nightmares.
Of which he’d had several more after we’d gone to sleep the night before.
I glanced at the clock and saw that technically, it was still the night before because it was only two o’clock in the morning. We’d been asleep for less than three hours.
The first nightmare had hit about half an hour after we’d made love and drifted off with me lying on Aiden’s chest. He hadn’t actually woken up, and all it had taken were a few softly whispered words in his ear reassuring him he was okay before he’d drifted off again. The second nightmare had been less than an hour later, and again, he hadn’t woken up. The third nightmare had been so violent that Aiden had inadvertently knocked me off his chest in the process. The sheets had been soaked with sweat, and he’d thrashed around as he’d called out for Danny to tell him he was coming. I’d managed to wake Aiden up, but he’d flatly refused to talk about his dream. Instead, he’d expressed concern for whether or not he’d hurt me. I’d gotten him some water while he’d changed the sheets. I’d convinced him to take a quick shower with me, both to wash the sweat from his body and in the hopes that the warm water would relax him. He’d been unusually quiet as I’d cleaned him. His body had reacted to my touch, but his mind hadn’t been with me.
Once we’d gotten back into bed, he’d remained distant, despite my efforts to draw him into conversation, and I’d finally given up and laid my head on his chest. My only comfort had been his arms wrapped tightly around me as we lay together. That was the last thing I remembered before waking up alone.
I slid my hand over Aiden’s side of the bed.
Cold.
I glanced over my shoulder and saw that the lights in the bathroom were off. Pushing the covers aside, I climbed out of bed and found my pajama bottoms and T-shirt. I did a quick search of the house in the hopes that maybe Aiden had moved to another room to sleep so he wouldn’t wake me up anymore, but there was no sign of him. My concern started to ratchet up when I reached the kitchen. There was no note on the fridge like there’d been the first couple of mornings when he’d gone out for a run. I was about to go to the garage to see if the car was gone when my eyes fell on something on the kitchen table.
A hardcover book.
One that hadn’t been there when we’d gone to bed.
I made my way over to it. In my gut, I knew what book it was, and the sight of it sent a chill through me.
I let my fingers trail over the embossed lettering on the spine of the leather-bound book. It looked old, and I wondered if it was an early edition. The pages were weathered, though I wasn’t sure if that was because it had been handled a lot or because it was just such an old book.
I lifted the cover and skimmed my eyes over the title.
The Secret Garden.
Aiden and Danny’s book.
There was a short inscription beneath the title that read, For Danny, You and me against the world, buddy. Always. Aiden.
My throat felt tight as I ran my fingers over Aiden’s name.
My Aiden.
My beautifully broken Aiden who’d been drowning every day of his life since the night he hadn’t been able to save the little brother he’d loved more than anything in this world.
I carefully closed the book and picked it up before walking to the sliding door leading out to the deck. I didn’t need to wonder where Aiden was anymore because I already knew. It was the same place he’d been for fifteen long years.
There was enough light from the full moon and the hanging lantern at the end of the boardwalk to find him almost instantly when I stepped outside. The night air was cool around me as I made my way down to the beach. When I noticed Aiden wasn’t wearing anything but his sleep pants, I briefly considered going back to the house to grab a blanket, but my need to reach him was too great. I doubted he was even feeling the chill in the air.
The book felt heavy in my hand as I walked through the slippery sand. It seemed to take forever to reach him, but I knew it had actually only been less than a minute.
