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Because I was stupid that way.
It wasn’t until we were in the air and climbing over Lake McDonald toward Heavens Peak that Zach finally acknowledged me from the co-pilot’s seat.
His voice came over the headset. “Johnny, double-check Lucky’s harness.”
I blinked up at him, only seeing the back of his head from where I sat. Johnny didn’t question anything. He simply checked my harness and confirmed over the air it was good to go.
“You sure?” Zach asked.
Johnny’s eyes met mine with a question in them. I shook my head with exasperation.
“Yeah, boss. All good. Why? You have reason to believe—”
“No, no. Just… it’s fine,” Zach mumbled through the comms.
But when we reached our first landing zone and prepared to load the hook, he did it again. Johnny had started hooking me into the tandem short-haul sling with him since I was closest to the bay doors, but when Zach found out about who was going first, he argued with Johnny.
“Let’s start with someone heavier,” he suggested. “It’ll be easier for Tag on his first run.”
Tag’s face wrinkled in confusion when he turned around to face the rest of us from the pilot seat. “What the fuck? We’re already loading two heavy gear bags in addition to the two of them. Dude, you’ve seen me drop a half-pound first aid kit on a four-inch cliff edge. I don’t have a problem slinging light.” He met Zach’s eyes for a second before shrugging. “You’re the training boss. Whatever floats your boat.”
Zach grunted and turned back around, reaching for the heaviest guy in our training class of six. Morrie rolled his eyes. “Ever feel like a fat ass?” he teased the rest of us. The guy was over two hundred fifty pounds of straight-up pro football levels of muscles. As he stood in place while Johnny hooked him in, Morrie continued to joke around, but I could tell he was paying more attention to Zach and Johnny than he let on.
As soon as the tandem pair finally hopped onto the skids and down onto the grass below to review their procedure one more time before takeoff, I turned to the student sitting closest to me. I remembered Luiz from my previous hoist class.
“At least I won’t be dead last,” I teased. He was very slight despite being a kickboxing and rock climbing instructor at our university gym.
He rolled his eyes and sighed. “Seriously. I should have put some rocks in my pockets before loading up today. If only Amy was taking the class with us, I wouldn’t be dead last.”
I laughed. Amy had also been in the other hoist course we’d taken from Tag, and the two of us had been paired as partners during several of the training drills. We’d gotten along so well, we’d stayed in touch for a while after the course until Minna and I had run into Amy at a party off campus. Amy had been drunk and had gotten oddly handsy and flirty with me which had been super awkward since she knew I was gay. Min had reminded me that knowing you couldn’t have someone didn’t necessarily stop you from wanting them.
I glanced up as Zach climbed back into the helicopter.
How true those words were.
I’d kind of avoided Amy after that, mostly because I felt awkward around her. So when I’d discovered she was working as an assistant and equipment manager for Tag this summer, I’d wondered how things between us would be. But when I’d caught her eye in the SAR classroom earlier today and she’d smiled in recognition, I’d been relieved to see it was the familiar smile of a friend rather than the over-anxious smile of someone with a crush. Maybe I’d misinterpreted her behavior that night.
“Why isn’t Amy taking the class?” I asked.
Luiz shrugged. “Probably money. She needs to earn it instead of spend it. This shit ain’t cheap.”
He was right. I’d worked my ass off to save enough for this course, and I’d have to get right back to work when I returned to Missoula in August, too.
We continued to make conversation while Johnny instructed Morrie on the ground and Zach leaned over the pilot’s seat to talk to Tag.
Zach had given up on the pretense of bodyweight selection, which meant I was left until dead last. I’d spent the entire afternoon sitting on my hands and pretending to be happy as a clam while inside I seethed. If Zach thought I needed yet another father figure looking out for my best interests, he was dead wrong.
When Johnny reached out a hand to pull me off my seat, I noticed Zach’s own hand clench into a gloved fist. Other than that small reaction, he was all business.
Until someone stretched out a leg in front of me at the last minute, and I almost went falling out of the open bay doors.
