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I let out a breath and looked out at the waves. After a minute, I could hear Willow belting out a snippet of a song from Hamilton.
I will never be satisfied.
A soft snort escaped me. That was it. That was me. Here I was with everything I’d ever wanted, and I still wasn’t happy. Well, fuck that. I needed to get a grip and learn how to be grateful. I turned around and rejoined the party. This was the life I wanted, I just needed to embrace it and stop being a fickle prima donna.
Bane and Willow turned out to be genuinely good people, who did their best to make everyone feel at home in their place. Evie and I found a comfortable spot on a love seat and laughed half the night away when Willow drank enough to start doing singing impersonations of Bane and other actors. I looked around the room at some of the cast and crew I’d gotten to know over the past couple of weeks and decided this was good enough.
If I couldn’t have Nine and the Cinderella cabin in the woods, I would be content here in LA with new friends. It was enough.
It had to be.
“Fourth of July fireworks on the yacht at Marina del Ray tomorrow night,” Willow said, getting everyone’s attention. “Who’s in?”
Evie elbowed me hard, getting my attention. When she gave me big eyeballs and a head tilt, I knew we were going to be spending the Fourth on Willow’s yacht. I raised my hand. “Never been on a yacht before, but I’ve binge-watched Deadliest Catch. Does that make me a greenhorn?”
Willow’s laugh was punctuated by the twin dimples she was famous for. “I promise we won’t make you swab the deck.”
Bane walked behind the love seat to get another beer and patted my shoulder on the way past. “You’ll love it. It’s the best view of the fireworks, and the chef on board makes killer sushi.”
When Evie and I finally caught an Uber back to the apartment, she turned to me with huge eyes. “Holy fucking shit, Coop. We’re friends with Willow Ex and Bane McKenner. We’re spending the Fourth on their fucking yacht.”
She sat back and blew air up into her bangs.
“They’re so fucking nice. So real. Did you hear Bane when he was talking about teaching his baby brother to ride a bike? That was so sweet. And when Willow found out I worked at Trapeze, her whole face lit up. She says it was her favorite place to go when she was a kid. And that guy Lou who works with you guys as a production assistant? He grew up like twenty miles away from me in Lanton. Isn’t that crazy?”
She continued chattering excitedly about our night and the other people she’d met there. I closed my eyes and felt the warm wind coming through the open car window. The sounds and scents of the city were as far away as you could get from my little mountain clearing in Colorado, but the feeling of a warm breeze on my face wasn’t. It reminded me of the day we’d brought a blanket outside into the sunshine and had our lunch as a picnic. I’d lain down with my head in Nine’s lap and closed my eyes to enjoy the warm sun on my face for a little while. The breeze had blown softly through the trees, making the familiar rattling whooshing sound that aspens made in the wind.
Nine’s fingers had played in my hair while the soft sounds of his old-fashioned country music came from the speaker we’d left inside the cabin.
“Your phone is buzzing,” Evie said, rousing me from my half-asleep state. It was after two in the morning, so if someone was trying to reach me, it couldn’t be good news.
“Mom?” I said, fumbling the phone to my ear.
“You need to get here, baby,” she said in a frantic voice. “He fell at work and won’t stop bleeding.”
29
Nine
Somehow I knew it was about Jacks. “What is it?” I asked Eli, striding across the clearing.
“It’s Jacks. He had an accident and is in ICU.”
“Are they letting Coop go?”
Eli shrugged. “He doesn’t know yet since it’s a holiday. But he’s going anyway.”
“Good. He should.” I stood there in the clearing like an idiot, like… like I needed to do something or go somewhere.
Eli tilted his head at me. “Are you going to Caswell?”
My entire body wanted to shout yes. “No. Not unless he needs me there, and we both know he doesn’t need anyone for anything.” But I wasn’t content knowing he’d be there without plenty of support. “You should go.”
Eli’s eyes widened. “I can’t go. I have to get back to work.”
My heart rate ramped up. “He doesn’t like needles, Eli. If they need to do the bone marrow thing, he’ll need someone there to hold his hand and stuff.”
