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“There were reports of a lone climber, and the storm was coming in,” I said, even though that wasn’t the reason at all. “Why did you solo climb when a storm was forecast?” He wasn’t stupid, but at the same time, he was used to California where the weather was more predictable.
“I wanted to be alone. It was the only place I could think of.” He tucked his face back into his mug and began to take cautious sips. I watched him stare into the fire as he drank. He looked haunted.
I’d wanted to rail at him, accuse him of playing the victim in front of as much media as he could possibly get, but I could see the truth of it now in his face. He didn’t want this. I wasn’t sure if he wanted any of this.
I moved closer and reached for his mug, placing it on the coffee table next to mine. “C’mere,” I murmured, pulling his body against mine. “Be alone now. Be alone here with me. I won’t say anything, and you can just be.”
He turned and buried his face in my neck, wrapping his arms around me like I was the last life raft in the wreckage of his life. The thought should have made me laugh. How could this spoiled Hollywood actor have any cause to complain about his life?
I didn’t know. And yet it felt like maybe he did.
And maybe he didn’t feel like he had the right to admit it out loud.
10
Finn
I lay in Declan’s arms and did my best to let every worry melt away. As long as this man was willing to hold on to me, how could I have a care in the world?
But apparently, I did anyway because I opened my mouth to thank him for giving a shit, and out poured a bunch of horrible crap.
“You were right. He’s going to do the explosion. And I can’t even think about that right now because first, he wants to film me doing a twenty-foot fall down a rock face. And my mom says it’s good for my career. And my agent told me I’m contractually obligated regardless of how unprepared I feel. Nolan threw me under the bus during that interview, so if I back out now, I look like a coward. And everyone won’t stop asking me what happened the other night, and they all want a piece of me, and no one understands how dangerous it really was, and now…” I thought I was going to choke on my own breath. “And now I don’t know what to do, and I feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to about all of this.”
I felt so stupid, so immature and young. Here was this older man who had years of tough life experience under his belt, and I was back to feeling like naive Chip Clover again.
I whispered an apology into his neck, but he shushed me. “You have every right to be upset,” he murmured. “It’s a lot, and you’re probably not used to having to navigate some of these decisions on your own.”
I shook my head. “That’s another thing. I’m tired of having everyone else think they know what’s best for me.”
“No one can possibly know what’s best for you,” he said swiftly. “Except you.”
“Says the man who told me to come down off the mountain,” I teased, not really feeling angry about it anymore.
“Mpfh.”
To be honest, I hadn’t been angry at Declan from the moment he’d run his hands over my cheeks and said he was scared for me. How long had it been since someone worried about me, Finnegan Heller, rather than Finn Heller the movie star, the investment, the cash cow?
I couldn’t even remember.
I pulled back and looked at Dec, really looked. He was so damned sexy, with his scruffy beard and those tiny crinkles at the corners of his eyes. His lips were dark red, like maybe I’d bruised them a little with my kisses, and it thrilled me to think I’d marked this man in some way, even temporarily.
“Thank you for caring,” I said softly. “Even if it was because of your job.”
His nostrils flared. “It wasn’t because of the job. You have to know that by now.” Declan’s words sounded gruff, as if he was forcing them out under duress.
“I thought you had a woman at home,” I said, knowing I couldn’t allow myself to kiss him again if that was the case. “A pregnant woman.”
The edge of his lip turned up. “I do. But it’s not what you think. She’s a friend. I told you in the car the other day, I’m gay. And single.”
I blew out a relieved breath and tucked my face back into the safe warmth of his neck. “Thank fuck.”
The vibrating rumble of his laughter made me smile against his skin. His arms felt secure around me before he began rubbing his hands up and down my back, eventually moving them under the hoodie until they were warm and strong on my bare skin.
