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The pizza hit the spot, but the movie definitely did not.
“Mama Mia? No.” It was one of Tucker’s guilty pleasures, and I’d seen it enough times to have the damned thing memorized.
Jenn shot me a look from her spot on my sofa. “You owe me.”
So that’s how I ended up with “SOS” playing on repeat in my head. After enjoying one of the only scenes I actually liked, I’d finally reached my limit and decided I’d rather distract Jenn with a make-out session than watch the part with all the “Slipping Through My Fingers” sentimentality bullshit—i.e., the part that made Tucker ugly cry and me feel itchy.
I cupped her cheek and leaned in to drop a soft kiss on the side of her mouth.
“Mm,” she said, turning to face me so I had better access. I kissed her full on the lips and felt…
Absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. Worse than nothing.
I felt confused, surprised, disappointed, and terrified. My heart hammered against my ribs in a rhythm that might as well have said Tuck-er, Tuck-er, Tuck-er. My mind’s eye flashed with scenes from the Steak ’n Bait parking lot when Tucker’s mouth molded against mine like it had been created as part of a matched set. I remembered his hand in mine and the sweet fucking promise of things I never knew were possible.
Why hadn’t I ever let myself go there before?
I eased back from Jenn and gave her an apologetic look. “Can I run you home?”
She nodded and sighed before grinning at me. “You’re the champion of playing hard to get, Dunn Johnson.”
“I don’t mean to,” I said, standing up and realizing my dick had gotten hard after all.
You were thinking about Tuck.
I squeezed my eyes closed and shook my head. This was crazy. It wasn’t like I’d never imagined it, Tucker and I being together.
Why can’t you?
My face ignited with heat at the thought. Naked Tuck underneath me, Tuck’s hot mouth on my dick. I groaned, and Jenn shot me a teasing look. “You know… I could help you with that,” she said, glancing down at my crotch.
“Naw, I’m good. Thanks, though.” I wiggled my hips a little as I grabbed the keys to the truck.
After giving Jenn another quick peck in the driveway of her place, I promised I’d give her a call tomorrow. Then I headed home.
Except, of course, I didn’t head to my home.
He didn’t even look surprised to find me there, but I was.
“Carter not here with you?” I asked gruffly before moving past him into the mudroom. I kicked off my shoes and tossed my jacket on a hook by the door before following Tucker upstairs to his living area.
“No. I told you, it’s not like that.”
When I got to the small room he used as a den, I noticed a wood fire crackling in the brick fireplace. A glass of wine sat on a side table next to the sofa, and two lamps cast enough warm light for the book he’d been reading. Those adorable black-framed glasses of his were perched on the side table like he’d just taken them off.
I turned around and threw out my hands. “I’m dealing with some unexpected shit here, okay? I wasn’t expecting this. My head’s all turned-around right now and I don’t know what to think.” The panic crawled at me from the inside, because the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. “Why did I feel more while kissing you—a man—than I did kissing a beautiful girl who’d do anything for me? Huh? Tell me that.” My voice broke on the last word, but his clear brown eyes remained steady and warm, the same way he’d always been as long as I’d known him.
He held out his arms.
And I walked right into them.
9
Tucker
14-Across: Hashtag carpe diem, baby (4 letters)
It’s a strange thing, getting exactly what you thought you wanted.
For years, I’d fantasized that one day Dunn Johnson would turn around and see me—really see me—and realize how perfect we could be together. I’d daydreamed about him saying that kissing me was better than kissing a woman. I’d imagined him showing up at my house late at night and taking me in his arms.
The reality of it was both better… and worse.
I’d never pictured Dunn’s voice catching as he told me he was “all turned around,” or those green eyes I loved hazed with panic. And in my wildest imaginings, I’d never thought his big body would tremble in my arms as I comforted him… all because he’d kissed me.
I never, ever wanted Dunn to feel scared or unhappy. Not for a single minute. So it was hard not to feel… guilty. Like I’d made this happen somehow. That I’d wanted it so much, I’d willed it into being. That aiming all my unrequited love in his direction all these years had caused some kind of alchemical reaction, transforming his friendshippy feelings into more.
