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“You won’t believe what I dreamed last night!”
And I’d listen to her. I soon recognized the signs. Most of her dreams were lucid, and she often saw younger or older versions of herself, some with similar lives, others on completely different paths.
“
I saw you in this small chapel… I think the chapel was part of a bigger building. And you were talking to this guy with blond hair and blue eyes. He was so tall and handsome! I went to you, but you didn’t recognize me.”
My heart skipped a beat. In a parallel universe, Sariel and I met in the Holy Chapel.
“He had wings!”
And he hadn’t lost his wings yet…
“I wonder what it means.”
“So, you dream a lot.”
“Every night. If I don’t dream, it’s like I don’t sleep at all. I wake up tired and confused.”
She was a natural dream jumper. I could bet she could switch places with her other versions if someone taught her how to do it. I myself had never known or gotten the chance to learn. But my mother, Katia… I had to tell her the truth. Time was flying by. Classes, field trips, tests, projects. We were heading for the end of the year, and I was hesitating. I didn’t know what would happen after graduation, but if I didn’t do something, I was afraid I might end up being left out. There were twenty-two Grim Reapers in the world, and I had to be one of them. I just had to. The privilege came with two hundred years of immunity from Death. No sacrifices to Yig. It came with the gifts of freedom and time, and I could use both to figure my life out, see what I could do to fix what I’d broken.
Meanwhile, as I was building a half-true, half-omissive discourse in my head for Yoli, I was doing my best to avoid GC, Pazuzu, Sariel, and Francis. Sariel was easy. Most of his classes were with the Merciful Death Cabal, and in the one class we had together, he sat with Lorna, who was more than happy to console him after I’d dumped him so unceremoniously. My VDC ex-boyfriends were another story.
Do I really think of them as ex-boyfriends? I missed them like crazy. I’d said I wanted a break, but the winter vacation was over, we were back at the Academy, and I still wasn’t ready to get back with them. I felt like my life was getting more complicated by the day. I hadn’t yet told them that my parents had adopted my cousin, because then I’d also have to tell them why, and I couldn’t lie anymore, nor omit the truth. It was getting exhausting. I was reaching the point where I couldn’t remember what I’d told and hadn’t told to whom, and the moment I was going to have that super important conversation with Yoli, I would probably also lose track of my own lies, half-truths, and omissions. Klaus didn’t know, either. Patricia didn’t know. Only Corri, Lorna, and I. I was honestly surprised Lorna still stuck with me after I’d broken Sariel’s heart.
GC sat next to me every day. He wouldn’t give up. Paz would sit next to me sometimes, then get angry when I ignored him and move a few seats away. Francis, just like Sariel, gave me space. I hoped he felt shitty for what he did after the Yule Ball.
“What’s up?” GC tried to initiate a conversation in Anatomy of Souls. It was his MO. Maybe he thought one of these days I’d give in and let them all back into my life. He was wrong. Because this wasn’t about them, it was about me. I wanted them in my life. I just didn’t want poisonous me in theirs.
“Nothing much.”
“You doing okay?”
“Sure.”
And that was about it. I didn’t want to let them get any closer than they already were. I didn’t want to be friends, because friends would lead to friends with benefits, and then… I felt like I was walking on thin ice. If either of them kissed me or touched me, they’d melt it from under my feet and I’d fall fall fall into a lake of my own despair.
Between the last class of the day and dinner, hid in my room. Even the Library was too exposed now. I could feel them in the shadows. My ex-boyfriends. Corri told me I was being paranoid, but I knew. Wherever I went, at least one of them was there, watching me. Maybe to make sure that I was fine, or to make sure they were around just in case I changed my mind and wanted to get back together. Out of the blue. Like most of the things I’d been doing lately.
My phone rang just as I was dropping my scythe next to a pile of dirty laundry. In PE, Mrs. Charon had started teaching us how to take other people with us when teleporting. I was drenched in sweat. On the one hand, I hadn’t expected it to be so difficult, but on the other hand, I was glad I was finally getting challenged again in PE.
“Yes?”
“Miss Mila Morningstar, this is Celine Barnes. From the bank. Do you remember me?”
I rubbed my aching temples. “Of course.” Yeah, I remembered her. She’d been the one to give me the news about my father emptying both his vault and mine. Not a crime, of course, since the treasure was all his.
“I’ve got great news for you! The Council has just made a money transfer to your account, payment for the months you reaped in Valentine Morningstar’s place.”
“You’re kidding me…”
“I’ve noticed you haven’t checked your account in a while, and I figured I might as well call and tell you.”
I ran my hand through my slightly damp hair and let out a breath of relief. Well, that solved some of my problems.
“Practice is practice, of course,” Celine Barnes continued, “But two summers ago, Mr. Morningstar sent you to reap in his stead, and that wasn’t practice. It was honest work, and the Council has finally decided to reward you for it. I’m glad, honestly. I believe it’s only fair and you deserve it.”
“Thank you. For saying that, and for letting me know.”
