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But the most prominent feeling within Spencer was a need to ease Emilio’s worry. He didn’t want the other man to think he’d done anything wrong or to believe that his desires weren’t returned, because neither of those things was true. So even though it was awkward and more than a little bit embarrassing, he decided to be honest.

“It’s not that.” He swallowed hard. “I do want you, Emilio. So much. But you should know that I’m not really, uh….” Saying the words was difficult enough, but choosing them seemed to be even harder. “I’ve never really been good at this,” he finally admitted. “I don’t always—” He looked down at his semihard dick and then back up at Emilio. “It might not stay… you know… and you’re so….” He dragged his gaze over Emilio’s handsome face and ripped chest and felt a sharp need low in his belly, making him shudder. “God, you’re so gorgeous, and you’ve been so nice. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“For real?” Emilio asked, sounding joyful. “That’s what’s got you worried?” It was an unexpected reaction, to be sure, but Spencer managed to nod. Emilio chuckled and pulled Spencer in for another kiss. “You don’t gotta worry about that, cariño. I may not understand most of the things you write or teach, but this—” He dropped his hand between their bodies and rolled Spencer’s balls. “I got this covered.”

Having a conversation about erectile dysfunction wasn’t ever on Spencer’s wish list, and talking about it when his dick was, at that very moment, filling and throbbing, was too much. He had said his piece, had warned Emilio. Now he wanted to stop worrying and thinking. He wanted to revel in the feelings those large hands, hard body, and soft lips were infusing in him.

“Let’s get you washed. We’ll add one of those fancy glass showers and a bigger water heater to the remodeling list. But for now, we need to get out of the shower before we freeze our nuts off and I won’t be able to show you how loud I can make you scream when you drain them.”

“Jesus,” Spencer panted in reaction to the rough, dirty words.

People he knew didn’t talk that way, and he wouldn’t have thought he’d find it arousing, but like everything else about Emilio, it made him want even more. He made quick work of washing his hair and reached for the shower gel and sponge, but Emilio beat him to it.

“Can I wash you?” he asked. “I’d really like that.” When Spencer dropped his arms and bobbed his head, Emilio smiled broadly. “Thank you.”

He lathered the sponge and moved it over Spencer’s shoulders and chest, washed under his arms and down his sides. Then he squatted down and lathered Spencer’s legs, lifted each foot so he could soap it up, and reached for Spencer’s blessedly hard dick, stroking it as he cleaned.

“Ah!” Spencer threw his head back and cried out when Emilio cupped his balls with his other hand, manipulating both organs in tandem.

Just when Spencer thought he might cum, Emilio stopped rubbing and steered him under the shower spray, rinsing all the lather off his body.

“Turn around, cariño,” Emilio said, his voice sounding low and husky. He raised himself back up to a standing position. “I need to get your back now.”

With every muscle trembling and his skin feeling hypersensitive, Spencer slowly turned around and flattened his hands against the tile. It was fine at first, but then he could feel a body behind him, hear someone moving, and though his brain knew it was Emilio, he couldn’t see.

“I don’t… I can’t….” He flipped around so he was facing Emilio again and immediately relaxed when he could confirm with all his senses that Emilio was the man touching him.

Confusion flitted over Emilio’s face, followed by anger, making Spencer cringe.

“I’m sorry,” Spencer said. “I want you to touch me, it’s—”

Emilio circled those huge hands around him and pulled him close once again. “Don’t apologize,” he said. “I’ll fucking kill him if I find out who he is, but don’t you apologize.”

Before he could process how quickly Emilio had understood the reason for his reluctance, the man rubbed his still soapy hands over Spencer’s back and ass, then dipped his fingers into Spencer’s crease, touching, caressing, and effectively distracting him from anything and anyone who came before.

“This feel okay?” Emilio whispered. When Spencer whimpered and nodded, he moved his hand over Spencer’s crack and edged two fingers inside, slid them over the clenching pucker, and rubbed it in slow circular movements with lightly increasing pressure. And all the while, he petted Spencer’s hair, nibbled on his jaw, neck, and ear, and rocked their pelvises together. “Can I go in, cariño?” he asked, and Spencer strongly suspected the question was for him alone, that Emilio wouldn’t be so hesitant with other men. “Just my finger today,” Emilio promised when he didn’t immediately respond.

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