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“Oh, fuck,” Emilio groaned and cupped Spencer’s backside, squeezing and kneading. “Yeah, seeing your ass in a sexy jock would be hot. But I’ve never understood those guys that get dressed up in the leather clothes and hats and boots, or all the weird shit people buy on the Internet to wrap around their dicks or shove up their asses.” Emilio shrugged. “I don’t know how they can take it seriously, you know? Ain’t sex enough for them? Why they gotta fuck with it?”
Spencer moved his hand to Emilio’s cheek. “You are the perfect guy for me,” he whispered and then immediately blushed.
Emilio turned his face and kissed Spencer’s palm. “I like hearing you say things like that, cariño. Don’t hide what you’re feelin’ because you think you’re gonna scare me off. It ain’t gonna happen.”
“Okay.” Spencer reached for the knob and turned off the burner, then rested his cheek against Emilio’s shoulder and trailed his fingers over Emilio’s chest. “Emilio?” he said after a couple of silent minutes.
“Uh-huh.” Emilio kissed his head.
“Can we try to….” Spencer chewed on his bottom lip. “Can we go to bed and….”
Emilio knew what Spencer wanted, but he didn’t have the right words for it either. There were too many feelings involved, too many ghosts they were trying to vanquish, too much emotion wrapped up between them to call it fucking. And sex sounded like something a doctor would say, something that didn’t take into account everything it would mean to Spencer to join together that way and have it feel good and right. Hell, it was going to mean a lot to Emilio too.
“You wanna make love?” Emilio asked, finally settling on a term that sounded sort of hokey but seemed to fit.
Spencer relaxed and sighed happily, “Yes. Do you?”
“Oh, yeah.” Emilio groaned. “In fact”—he grasped Spencer’s shoulders and moved him back just enough so they could look each other in the face—“I got tested right after I moved in here, and I’m clean. If you don’t want to, I understand, but I wanna do you bare.” He rubbed his lips together. “Will you let me do you bare?”
Spencer whimpered and nodded, his heart racing, breath coming out in pants.
“Come on,” Emilio said. “Let’s go to bed.” He slipped his hand around Spencer’s and tugged him out of the kitchen, toward the bedroom.
“If I freak out—”
Emilio stopped in his tracks and turned on his heel so he was looking right into Spencer’s eyes. “Spence, we don’t have to do this. I want to. I want you so damn bad it makes my teeth hurt. And I know you want it too. But if it’s too much right now, you’ll tell me and we’ll do something else. We can always try again tonight or tomorrow or next week or next month.”
“You’ll still be working on the remodel next month?” Spencer asked the question hoarsely, and Emilio understood that the words meant something else entirely.
“Probably,” he said. “But that’s got nothin’ to do with it. I know I kinda strong-armed you into letting me move in here, but—”
“I could’ve found someone else to do the work once I had more money saved up,” Spencer said. “I’ve waited almost four years—what’s a couple more?” He took a deep breath and said, “I wouldn’t have let you move into my house if I didn’t want you here, Emilio.”
Emilio cupped Spencer’s cheek and caressed him gently. “I asked to move in because I wanted to build something with you, but it was never about remodeling your house,” he explained.
“It wasn’t?” Spencer asked, looking so hopeful that Emilio knew he’d happily put himself out there and share everything so Spencer would have no cause to doubt how he felt.
“No, cariño. I want to build a life with you.”
A bright, dimpled smile was his reward. “I want that too,” Spencer said. “And if we do it right, it’ll take much longer than another month.”
Emilio grinned. “Now you’re getting it.” He took Spencer’s hand again and led him into the bedroom. “You know my parents have been married for thirty-five years,” he said. “And they’re still building.”
Spencer squeezed his hand, and Emilio knew they were finally on the same page.
Chapter 15
WITH his heart thumping so hard it felt like it was going to beat itself right out of his chest, Spencer followed Emilio into the bedroom. The hard-on he had enjoyed when he was cooking and playing in the kitchen had wilted in a fit of nerves. Whether Emilio noticed or not, Spencer didn’t know, but he stayed right on task, stripping Spencer’s clothes off as soon as they were in the room, then pushing down his own briefs.
He walked over to the nightstand, pulled out a bottle of lube and tossed it on the bed before coming back and playfully saying, “Hi,” as he pressed his warm, hard body to Spencer’s.
