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“Then you’re not out anything. You got to be with two people you care about and didn’t want to choose between anyway. But take the time you have and use it to your advantage so you can walk away and be certain you made the right choice. Even if it means neither of them.”
I closed my eyes, because deep down, I knew that the answer would remain me walking away from both. I couldn’t imagine ever picking between one man who had my heart, and the other who had my soul.
Harper was right, I could use the time to be sure. Maybe then walking away wouldn’t be as bad. I almost chuckled at the thought, because no matter what, it was going to be worse than bad. But denial had become my friend lately.
“If you change your mind, I’m here,” Harper said. “The offer for the couch stands.”
I laughed. “Thank you so much.”
She laughed too and said, “Everything will work out how it’s supposed to. I truly believe that.”
Whatever Harper had gone through lately, with Rhett even, had her talking like a different person.
“I’m here for you too.”
“I know. And once neither of us are technically homeless anymore, we’re due for a girl’s night and we’ll catch each other up with everything.”
“I’d like that.” It was something normal to look forward to.
“Good luck, Lan,” she said.
I hung up and took a deep breath, glancing at the door again. I’d need more than luck to face down what was on the other side of it.
~
I heard a crackling sound. Low, like a ghost’s voice. An orange glow started to brighten as I stared off into blackness. The glow got bigger.
Pain and terror surged through me with every frantic breath.
Fire.
What had been just a whisper was a scream now. Roaring angry flames shot from every direction as I watched my house burn. Felt the heat on my face. The pain from where I’d been hit—
I gasped and shot up in bed.
Looking around, I lay in bed, coming down from the nightmare. From the reality that Brock and Anita were out there. Hating me. The person who started the fire was out there.
With several deep breaths, I got out of bed and looked out the window. I didn’t remember falling asleep. But it was bright out, the morning giving way to the afternoon.
Even a cold shower didn’t help the blistering fear I still felt from the dream. Felt from that night. When everything went up in flames around me. My house, my life, my love.
I thought about what Harper had said. I needed to be sure. Because my plan would be to walk away. There was no other way. Or maybe I was looking for excuses to be with them.
No.
I couldn’t.
Shouldn’t.
Despite everything, somewhere along the line, things shifted from getting away from them because they hurt me, to getting away from them because I was hurting them.
But I had some time. Time I should use wisely. I just had no idea how to do that.
There was no solution, which was something I was having a hard time stomaching. Because finding a solution was something I enjoyed. Weighing risk, smart decisions and statistics gave me control and a sense of normalcy
.
Plugging Cal and Jack into a data system wouldn’t work. Not this time.
