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There was such a raw honesty in her voice that he couldn’t help but respond. She wanted to know him more. She’d said that before. It was still a bad idea, and yet, a big part of him wanted that also. Because he felt the same way. It was an odd idea, but damn it, he wanted it. Despite the two week agreement, they’d always be friends, so even if this ended between them—
When. When this ended. No if.
He had to remind himself that.
And maybe explaining himself would make it easier for her when they had to go back to being friends.
“Bass?” She slid her hands up, a gesture of support, and said the one word that hit his ribs like a damn arrow. “Please.”
He took a deep breath. “You want my darkest fear?” he asked. “I’m terrified of losing what I love most. I’m terrified of it ruining me.”
He thought he heard her gasp. This wasn’t a conversation for a happy day at the lake, or any day for that matter. But this was the first time he’d ever felt the urge to share. The whole truth. Nothing but the truth…
“Why are you scared of losing what you love?”
He swallowed, willing the words to stay down, but instead they came out. “Because I saw what power over another person can do. Saw what humiliation and devastation look like. How one person can turn another inside out and manipulate your life and your future.”
“You’re talking about your mom and dad?” she whispered.
He nodded.
“That doesn’t have to be you. Their situation and how they handled it was their choice. Their failure. I’m sorry you suffered because of it.”
“I don’t need your pity.”
“I’m not pitying you. You’re the strongest man I know. I just want you to realize that. You being in someone’s life makes that person lucky.”
He laughed. “Yeah, Penny Diamond is lucky to have me in her life.”
“I am,” she said. “You’ve changed me in a way that can’t be undone. And I’m happy about that. But even before our arrangement, you were a constant in my life. You’ve been loyal and kind. I trust you.”
Her words hit him hard. She thought he was strong? Thought he was better than what he came from? Trusted him? Thought he was good enough to be on her level?
“What is it you love most?” she asked.
He shook his head. “Nothing.” He turned to face her. “Love nothing, fear nothing.”
Her green eyes seared into his. He saw sadness there. For him? Probably. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything.
“Then what do you have to live for?”
“I still have fun. But what’s the point of loving something if you’re just going to lose it?” he asked in a low tone, keeping his eyes locked on hers.
Shit, had he said that out loud? He hadn’t meant to. But looking at her face, those lips, that concern and sadness in her eyes made all his defenses crumble.
He knew now that not spending every moment with her was the definition of missing out. And he was the poor bastard that was suffering. Which should just prove how badly he needed to cut this off.
Before he could put his face of stone on and spout his reminder of their deal, she squeezed his hand, not seeming to care if anyone noticed.
“Certain things are worth the risk. I hope you realize that you’re something incredible.”
A brick would have been preferable to what settled in his chest.
“Penny, I—”
“Hey guys!” Finn said, walking up.
Sebastian instantly pulled his hand from hers and sat straighter. She looked at him like he’d just slapped her, but she shook it off and faced Finn.
