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You can’t see the lights, but they’re strung all around the room. Janice, your night nurse, is a real bitch when it comes to most things, but even she smiles when she walks in and sees the colorful glow. We snuck in a tree, which is hidden in your closet, but is dripping with every ornament that Paige and Caleb could find, and more than a dozen that they’ve made.
I went to my dad’s for dinner. He’s dating this woman who reminds me a little of you. She’s quirky. Loveable. Caring. Extremely messy, which Dad has somehow managed to overlook with a smile, and that’s a new look on his face. I gave them all of your updates, and the latest doctor’s report. You probably don’t know, but he comes in with me sometimes. He’s real quiet, so if you’ve heard a lot of stoic grunts, that was him.
I miss you. It sounds crazy to miss a person after such a short time together, but I do. I miss you in a way that hurts my gut. I’ve beat myself up for every missed opportunity with you, but promise you—swear to you—that I’ll make it up to you. You’re going to be so sick of me when you wake up. You’re going to be researching restraining orders and privacy fences and you better lock up your trash cans at night, because I have it on good authority that stealing someone’s recycling is a straight ticket into their heart.
I opened your gift earlier and set it next to your bed. Spoiler alert: it’s a baby monitor. The best they sell. It has a range of six miles, which easily covers the distance between my house and your room. During the day I leave it in my living room, so you can listen in on all of the interesting sounds that Mr. Oinks creates. I apologize in advance for his assortment of farts, but I know that each one will bring a smile to your face. And at night, you can listen in on the super exciting sounds of me cooking dinner, and watching TV with him, and going to sleep. I’d let you listen in on my more erotic activities (all solo of course) but Nurse Janice is already eyeing me like a prize pie in a county fair, so I don’t want to fan that flame any brighter.
I don’t ever want you to be alone and I hope this helps. I hope it gives you a sense that we are in your life, because you are always in ours.
I love you, Autumn.
Merry Christmas. Next year is going to be our greatest one yet.
January
The engagement announcement was buried on the third page of the Lifestyles section, right next to the obituaries.
Mr. and Mrs. Jeffrey Capp of Orlando, Florida are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter Nicola Capp, to Dr. Frederick Stokes, originally of Waco,Texas. Ms. Capp, a graduate of Florida State University, is a beverage curator for a local restaurant. Dr. Stokes is a graduate of the University of Florida, and practices psychiatry at his office in Tallahassee, Florida. A March wedding is planned.
Declan read the announcement twice, then he tossed the paper back on the top of the trashcan, dumping his coffee cup into the can and heading for the door.
“So, that’s it? No reaction?” Nate grabbed the paper and followed him out the door, weaving around a group of suits and jogging to catch up.
“I’m happy for her.” He stepped onto the crosswalk and glanced over, meeting Nate’s worried eyes. “Honestly.” He glanced at his watch. “Now, come on. The cupcake store closes at two.”
“I’m not going to lie, I’m a little freaked out by your laissez-faire attitude about this. And maybe I wouldn’t be if we weren’t heading to the birthday party of your unresponsive girlfriend.”
Declan stopped suddenly and turned on him. “She’s responsive. Last week there was a spike in her brain activity. I told you this.”
“Right, the spike.” His face softened. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. Again.” He lifted the paper. “Nicola’s moving on. Maybe—”
“Don’t even fucking think about finishing that statement.” He snatched the paper from Nate’s hand and shoved it into a trashcan. “I don’t want Tinder, or to screw Jenn from the reception desk, or to go out and get drunk with a bunch of sorority girls you saw on Instagram. I want to eat a fucking cupcake and sit with Autumn, and tell her what a complete dipshit you are.”
“You don’t want to date other people, fine. But have you thought about what will happen if she does wake up? What might really happen?”
Nate’s words cut deep into his biggest insecurity. “You think she won’t be interested in me.”
Nate lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “It’s just that you’ve immersed yourself into this world where she is your everything, and I’m worried that she might wake up and…”
