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Tears started to fill my eyes, but with a sniffle, I held them back.
“I want to start living, Lauren. Enough for both of us.”
I ran my fingertip along the cursive letters just below her name. “Beloved,” I read. And she was.
“I love you, and I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. I know I say it every year, but this time, I’m saying it for a final time.” I glanced to the sky, hoping somehow she could hear me. “Something that was said to me recently made me realize that grieving is okay, but thinking only of your death poisons your memory and takes away the goodness you left.”
A single drop escaped my lower lashes and trailed down my face. “And you left so much goodness. I’ll never let go of you, but I have to let go of the guilt…for both of us.”
Hanging my head, I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath. A small laugh came forth. “Do you remember the time we stayed up all night watching Pippy Longstocking, and were convinced that our kitchen floor needed to be scrubbed just like they did it in the movie?”
Another burst of laughter came out as I held the memory.
“You convinced me that Mom and Dad wouldn’t be mad, so we tied sponges to our feet and used an entire bottle of dish soap to skate across the kitchen floor.”
I shook my head, giggling the same way I had that night.
“Mom was so pissed. But damn, that was fun. You always were fearless like that.” I rested my hand against her name. “And I followed you anywhere.”
Something warm and smooth filled my chest from the inside out. Deep down, I knew it was Lauren’s presence.
I glanced over my shoulder and smiled at the man who stood several yards away.
“That’s Roman,” I said, looking down at Lauren again. “He’s amazing. I wish so much that you’d known him, and that he’d gotten to meet you. He’s made me realize things, and helped me move forward.”
A breeze blew just then, kicking up the scent of the wildflowers, and I felt Lauren with me more than at any time in the past seven years. It was as if she’d actually spoken to me.
“I love you too,” I whispered and rose to my feet.
Her spirit was too strong to be buried, and it was time I started listening to it.
“Thank you for coming with me,” I said, as I fished my keys out of my purse and unlocked my front door.
“Thank you for having me.”
I smiled and opened the door. Roman placed my suitcase right inside and stood to his full height. He stared down at me, his breath visible in the cold night air. I wanted to invite him in. Paige and Hazel were gone tonight. Ju
dging by the text messages I’d gotten this afternoon, they wouldn’t be home anytime soon. But after being shot down last time, I knew better than to ask.
Then, over Roman’s shoulder, I watched his personal driver speed off in the town car.
“Um, I think you’re being ditched,” I said, but Roman didn’t bother to look where I was pointing.
“I guess I’ll have to call a cab.” He shrugged. “Or perhaps I could stay with you.”
My gaze shot to his. “Seriously?” I asked around a huge smile.
He stepped closer, all that yummy-smelling heat surrounding me. I was so excited and surprised, I couldn’t help but mess with him a little.
Tapping my chin, I looked at the sky. “Hmm, you seem to be inviting yourself over an awful lot. Better be careful, or I may think you’re getting clingy.”
“Politicians don’t get clingy.”
“Well in that case, I’d love it if you stayed.”
He followed me inside and hung our coats by the door. I’d missed my small apartment. It wasn’t much, but it was cozy.
“Would you like some coffee or tea?” I asked over my shoulder, walking into the kitchen. Roman sat down on the couch and I rummaged through the cupboards. “Ooh, we have hot chocolate.”
