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“Just great. I appreciate your willingness to put me up, but I promise I’m fine. I still have a few days here and a place lined up.”
“Really?” Amy said with hope in her wide eyes. I hated omitting details to her face. Because no, not really. Unless you called a crappy hotel on the edge of town “a place lined up.” But either way, I would take care of it.
“Yep, I’m good. Promise.”
She eyed me for a moment before finally letting it drop. “Okay, well if anything changes, you know where I am.”
I smiled. I did know. My best friend was at the governor’s house, a place I couldn’t go near. Looking around, I saw how empty the place already was without Hazel. I grabbed a smaller box and walked out to the truck.
“It’s all over the news, Paiges,” my mother said.
I sat in the middle of the living room floor in a damn near empty apartment with a glass of wine, stack of bills, and my laptop. All of the big pieces had belonged to Hazel and Amy. I looked around and realized how little I actually owned.
“I know, Mom. But everything is fine.” When I got the call from my mother and her worried tone was apparent, I knew she must have learned of the fallout. Plus, she only called me Paiges when she was either being condescending or out to annoy me on purpose.
“I’m sorry to hear you lost your job. I thought you were doing so well.”
“I was,” I said gruffly. “Just one of those things.”
I didn’t want to explain more. Nor would it matter. I wasn’t named, so to some extent, I kept a bit of privacy and distance from the matter.
“You know you can always come home.” My mother let out a long breath and the phone squeaked as if she clutched it closer to her ear. “All you have to do is apologize to your dad and you’re welcome back in our house.”
“Stepdad,” I corrected, wincing at her words. “Frank is my stepdad.”
And there was no way in hell I was apologizing, because I did nothing wrong. Other than put up a fight when he’d snuck into my room, then sought help—not that help ever came.
“You have to let go of your anger, Paiges. I love you. Your father loves you. We’ll forgive you.”
My stomach knotted so tightly I was ready to retch the red wine I’d been enjoying. It had been ten years and my mother still didn’t believe me. She defended Frank and stood by him. What was worse, the entire town knew about the allegations and I’d become an overnight pariah with zero credibility. No one wanted to come near me.
“Didn’t you forgive me when you made me recant my statement about Frank?” My words were more of a hiss and even through the phone, it sounded like they stung my mother.
After a so-called investigation, which was basically the sheriff sitting me down and asking me a few questions, and a medical evaluation that turned up nothing, my mother told me to retract my accusations. I argued that the physical exam didn’t do any good because Frank didn’t get a chance to actually carry out his intention. And bruises on my hip and knees apparently weren’t evidence enough that he had grabbed me.
“Paige, I told you to do the right thing. You were up
set because your father left the year before and with all the trouble you were having with boys . . .”
Trouble? After my real father left, yes, I had some daddy issues to work out. Finding guys my age to provide a false sense of comfort and belonging was the best I could do. Apparently my promiscuous reputation was used against me when my accusations of Frank came to light, another reason people didn’t believe me.
The few guys I’d latched on to were from a town or two over and they usually ended up either finding out about my reputation or turning out to be bigger douches than even I could deal with.
Frank had been a “good guy” in the eyes of the community and apparently still was. He had a small plumbing business, was on the school board, and even headed up the youth baseball leagues. When the news spread about what I’d accused him of, the town chose sides. I lost out big when my mother told everyone I had an overactive imagination and flare for drama. Hardly a soul believed me to this day.
Amy and I had been friends then, and she did stand by me, but we were both teenagers and I didn’t go into details with her. Once I realized I was alone in the allegations, I did everything I could to just survive in a place I wasn’t really wanted. The couple occasions Amy had tried to ask me about it, I refused to talk. I didn’t want to remember. I felt defeated and just wanted to weather the storm until I could start over. A similar situation I was currently staring down. But when the details of the past were thrown in my face, especially by my mother, I couldn’t sit back and take it. I may have been a scared kid back then, but I was a fighter now.
“I’m not having this discussion with you again, Mom. We always end up fighting.” I balanced the phone between my shoulder and ear and started whisking through the pile of bills I had. Looking them over, I realized I’d be lucky if the last of my savings covered them.
“That’s because you won’t admit the truth,” she said.
“No, it’s because you won’t.”
When she huffed, I knew this was going nowhere. Despite her attempts to love me, deep down, she chose Frank over me, and we both knew it. There wasn’t space for both of us, especially when the asshole was a mean, lying son of a bitch.
“I’ve got to go,” I said, right when I came across the thin yellow slip I’d been dreading. An end of lease notice. There, in big, bold letters, was a boot to my ass out on the street. Hazel had already moved out, but I was staying until the last day of our lease, mostly because I still hadn’t found a new place and the landlord wasn’t interested in a month-to-month arrangement. Not that I could afford it anyway.
“If you change your mind, you know you’re welcome back . . .” She trailed off and I knew that my welcome wagon came with the price of my apology. No fucking way was that ever happening.
