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“Yes. Because what other logical way is there to look at things?”
His eyes searched mine as if seeing something in me I wasn’t sure I wanted him to see. My practicality. Nothing about my thoughts ever strayed toward sunshine, romance, or happy endings. I wasn’t Amy or Hazel. Didn’t have that kind of faith in people or the world. Everyone had an agenda. Always. I’d identified my own agenda at a young age and stuck with it. Nothing romantic about that. And that was written all over Leo’s face.
“What if logic isn’t my first thought on a matter?” His tone was dark and I knew we weren’t talking about Colin or the slip anymore.
“It has to be. Otherwise . . .” I got lost in the depths of those blue pools staring back at me.
“Otherwise what?”
“Emotion will dictate and that leads to stupidity.” My chest hurt saying it, but it was true. There were things I wanted in life, just like everyone else. But jumping in with both feet never turned out well, especially when my track record, as Colin pointed out, was no help.
I was a risk. The key elements required to be a stable candidate for anything, including for Leo, were tainted when it came to me. And yet, he gave me pieces of those elements. Like trust. Made me feel like he just might believe in me.
But that was the kind of thinking, the kind of emotion, that got people in trouble. Because facts were facts. I was trying to outrun a past and a scandal I couldn’t control and I was trying to start over with a piece of paper that gave me the best hope for a clean slate. Leo’s endorsement. Because there wasn’t another soul on this earth who would give it to me. For some reason, I wanted his approval, for reasons beyond a different job or the future.
I liked the way he looked at me. As if I were something strong. As if he respected me. And it gave me power. Made me feel like the world wasn’t crashing around me and I wasn’t losing my life, my friends, my dignity.
It made the fight feel a little less brutal.
Leo gently shook his head. “Perhaps you’re right. Emotions can lead to stupidity.”
A sharp pain stabbed between my ribs. He took a few steps away and I rose from the seat.
“You say that like you understand.”
He grinned but there was no humor there. “I’ve been stupid, Paige. And it cost me once. Big. You’d think I’d learn.” I frowned but he simply ate me up with his gaze and said, “I look at you and all I feel is . . . stupid.”
I swallowed hard. “What happened before?”
“I believed in a woman I shouldn’t have.” My stomach knotted tighter. “But that was years ago.”
I took a step toward him and ran my fingertips along his knuckles. He looked at where I touched him, then at me.
“It sounds like she was the one who was stupid.” And instantly I could relate.
Because my shoes that had been pinching all day suddenly felt like someone else’s. Someone’s I was filling. Someone I didn’t want to be. But once again, I knew better than to think of a different ending to what reality would provide. Leo was an important man. While the idea of someone hurting him made my entire body buzz with the need to take down whoever would dare such a thing, I remained calm, and stepped away.
My hand fell from his. There was only one thing I could do before I left. That was secure my future. The small part I played in his family’s party was a good start. I may never be a list-worthy woman but I could at least show I had some class beyond Rice Krispies treats and crappy taste in television.
“I have the party down for next Saturday and I’ll set up your next date for the day before if that works for you?” I said.
Leo nodded. “Friday date, Saturday party. Sounds like a busy weekend.”
I nodded. “I promise, no flower surprises this time.” I picked up my tablet and walked to his door. He stood next to the window, and I could feel him watching me walk away.
“Hey, Red?” I looked back to see him give a half smile. “Good job today.”
“Thank you.”
With t
hat, I left the CEO where he belonged—behind his desk, ruling the world—while I walked out into the cold, hoping to God one day I’d find my place.
Chapter Fifteen
You have the restaurant reservations confirmed?” Leo asked, tugging on his jacket.
“Yes, all set for you and your sister.” Regan had called yesterday, wanting to meet Leo for lunch. The conversation had been quick, but she wasn’t rude. She just made me all the more anxious for tomorrow. I’d show up with arguably the highest-rated food in New York and hopefully get a few minutes to smooth things over with Regan.
