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“Something that happened today made me realize I wanted to tell you,” I said.
“I’m glad you did.”
“Well . . .” I looked down at his wet chest and abs and I had to bite my lip. “I guess I should let you get back to your evening.”
“I was just going to bed.”
“Then I should let you go.”
I glanced at the fresh sheets. Sheets I’d been on. Slept on. Had Leo on.
His blue eyes seared mine. “Will you come with me?”
He took a single step and the way his hips moved dared the low-slung towel to scoot a little lower.
“I want to,” I whispered. But reality weighed heavily.
I stood before him, more vulnerable than I’d ever been with anyone. I told the truth. Not a spun version or a condensed version. I told the whole truth. If I wasn’t already at a deficit against Leo, I was now. Especially when what I wanted and what I’d end up getting were two different things. Because once again, the truth was blaring in my face: I wanted Leo. All of him.
“Will you tell me something?” I asked.
He nodded.
Taking a hard swallow, I pushed for just a little more. I wanted to know him. To understand. Help him the way he had helped me these past several weeks. Whether he knew it or not, he had been a beacon of support I hadn’t had in a long time. I wanted to support him back.
“Tell me about your son, about your wife.”
A sad smile laced his face. “I haven’t seen him in five years, but he was incredible. So smart.”
“Can you see him now? Try to reach out?”
He shook his head. “I have no legal rights. And if I tried, it’d only confuse him. I don’t want to do that. I fought for him, and lost. Sara wasn’t my wife, though I had proposed. She married the man she was having an affair with and that’s who Dax knows as his father. It wouldn’t be fair to him for me to step in now, even if I could. There’s not much more to the story than that.”
“So Sara was your fiancée?”
“Yes.”
“Will you tell me about her?”
Something dark flashed over his face. “Before her, I wasn’t aware what true betrayal felt like. Dishonesty. Certain dreams faded with her when she left.”
“Like what?”
He looked me dead in the eye. “Like love.”
I knew right then that was why the list was made. Between his family and Leo obviously not risking himself for love again, there was still a means to an end. And I had to remind myself once more that I was not on that list, and never would be.
“What is it you want?” I asked softly.
He grinned, his eyes roaming the length of me. “You.”
The word tied with that hot stare made me shudder. “I mean, what do you want long term?”
He kept his eyes on mine. We both knew I was temporary, but he was decent enough not to say it out loud. Instead, he leaned down, his lips brushing mine and said, “For now, I’ll be happy with tonight.”
I closed the last whisper between us and kissed him. We both knew long term wasn’t in the cards. My job, our future, had an expiration date.
I would be gone in two weeks. He was pursuing things beyond the life I would end up leading. He’d have a woman who came with a nurturing nature, well-bred background, and class. A woman who would make the finest wife and mother. A woman who spoke softly and didn’t come with a shattered past. A woman I never was, and would never be, no matter how hard I tried.
