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“It’s really okay,” I said to both of them. “I’m fine.”
Hazel shook her head. “No, Paige, you’re not.”
Amy nodded her agreement with Hazel. “Roman said Leo’s been calling. There was an issue in London.”
I glanced at my hands and all the sadness, anger, and pure despair I’d been trying to keep at bay threatened to explode. I said the only thing I felt.
“I’m tired,” I said, water rimming my eyes. Amy and Hazel looked at me and all I could do was sigh. “I’m so tired of not being believed.”
Hazel nodded. “I know, sweetie.” She rubbed my shoulder. “But Paige, you have to let someone in. Then they’d see what an amazing, honest person you are.”
“I did. I . . . told Leo things I’d never told anyone. I . . .” I wiped the back of my hand over my eyes.
Amy hugged me quick and then, with her hands on my shoulders, looked me dead in the eye. “I don’t know all the details, but I do know that guys can be stupid. They act without thinking sometimes and say things they don’t mean. Give Leo a chance to explain.”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it does,” Hazel argued.
“No,” I cut in, “it doesn’t. Because it doesn’t change who I am. And I don’t fit in his world. I never have. I never will.” Amy and Hazel went to argue some more and I just put up my hand. “I know you guys are trying to make me feel better, but could I be alone right now?”
They exchanged glances, then nodded. “Okay. Will you call us tomorrow?”
“Sure,” I said. They got up and walked out, both sparing me several sad glances. “I do appreciate you two, I just need to get a handle on things.”
“We understand,” Hazel said and they walked out. I closed the door behind them and walked into the bathroom to splash water on my face. I needed to get a grip. This pain in the middle of my chest was spreading. It hurt to move, to breathe. Like my soul had been ripped from my throat and all I wanted to do was cry. Because I felt it. For the first time, so hard and powerful it almost made me topple over.
“He’s gone,” I whispered to my reflection. What hurt more was that he was never mine to have in the first place.
When a knock came at the door, I dried my face quickly and went to open it. “Did you forget something?” I asked, thinking it was Hazel or Amy, but my words died when I saw the last woman I expected standing before me.
“Hi, Paige,” Regan said. “Do you mind if I come in?”
I let out a long breath. “To be honest with you, Regan, I can’t take anymore. I know you don’t want me with your brother and you got your wish, okay? Please just spare me the—”
“I was here to apologize,” she said. “So, may I come in?” I swallowed hard and let her in. She looked around for a moment, then faced me.
“How did you know where I was staying?”
“Leo’s not the only one with connections.” She smiled. “That and Amy and I have become friends since she started seeing Roman. When I asked her about you, she let me know you were staying here.” Right. Family friends and whatnot. Regan took a deep breath, then fixed her dark eyes on me. “I’m very sorry for what I’ve said to you in the past, Paige.”
“You were right, Regan.”
“No, I wasn’t. And it wasn’t until I got a call from Leo yesterday that I realized how wrong I was. This whole time I was trying to protect him. I didn’t want him to feel the loss he did when Sara left.”
I nodded. I could understand that. She was his sister and cared about him. “I didn’t leave him, Regan.”
She shook her head. “He was frantic. I heard the devastation in his voice.”
Anger and sadness and exhaustion boiled over. Tears flooded my eyes and I couldn’t hold back. Couldn’t be polite and pretend that my world wasn’t in tatters.
“I love him,” I snapped, and palmed my forehead, feeling the overwhelming truth of that statement. Love had teeth and it was ripping at my chest.
Regan gasped and her eyes got a little glossy.
“I love him and he didn’t believe me when I needed him to. So I appreciate your coming here, but it won’t change that Leo and I aren’t going to work.”
“Forgive me, I shouldn’t have tried to defend him,” Regan whispered. “I just want you to know I see now what you mean to him, and I’ll stand by you both.”
