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“That’s awesome.”
“No, it’s not. I can’t pursue anything with him.”
“Why not?”
“Because.” No one had ever valued Mia to keep her around for long. She never had a steady boyfriend, only a few dates then it was over. She told herself it was because she was busy. Because she had bigger, better things to do, but the truth was, she never gave anything a long term shot because the end would be the same. Disappointment.
She grew up her whole life understanding she wasn’t wanted from the beginning. And men seemed to only want her for one thing. No need to add insult to injury by having another person remind her that she wasn’t wanted or only wanted for the wrong reasons.
“Because I’m not a long term girl,” she said, leaving out the rest.
“Well, that’s fine. There’s no reason you can’t enjoy yourself in the moment.”
“But that’s the problem, I enjoy myself too much in the moment. I lose my mind when I’m with Tate. He is just…”
“Super hot,” Jen said with a wink.
Yeah that. And, “Super irritating. He’s a good guy. I know that. I saw that last night by the way he stepped up and hung out with Kyle. But things feel so…” different.
Mia couldn’t say it out loud. Tate was a different kind of man, a better kind. The kind that did stick around. And while part of her had been looking for something like that her whole life, the other part of her wanted nothing to do with it.
She’d never felt like she belonged in Sweet Hill, but she wanted to. But she did know the kind of woman that belonged with a guy like Tate. And she wasn’t it.
She knew first hand that looks could be deceiving, but she wasn’t blind. At some point, if she fell hard enough, there would be no turning back. And the reason her heart ached a little was the same reason she wanted to see Tate tonight. Because she had to know:
Was he keeping her his dirty little secret or did he actually want her?
“I say roll with it,” Jen said. “As long as you’re upfront and so is he, what’s the harm?”
Mia raised a brow. That was what she was afraid of. Tate being upfront and telling her something that may cut a little. She knew running for Sheriff was difficult for him and knew he wanted it. She could even understand his concerns, and admired his ambition.
“You know how this town talks,” Mia said. It was a valid argument.
“Why would hooking up with you or dating you or anything like that be viewed as a bad thing? You just might be the thing to light a fire in him.”
Oh, there was a fire.
“I didn’t say dating would be a bad thing. I don’t even know if that is what he wants. He just likes his rules and black and white, which doesn’t work well because I’m kind of gray.”
“Gray’s a good thing!” Jen said. “Be gray, Mia. If he can’t deal with it, then it’s his loss.”
She smiled. “That’s your advice? Be gray?”
Jen nodded. “Yep.”
Suddenly, Mia was feeling better and better about dinner tonight.
“Well, looks like I need to go find something to wear.”
~
“Damn it,” Mia cursed and threw another shirt on her bedroom floor.
Kyle was staying at Will’s tonight and left over an hour ago. In that time, Mia was no closer to figuring out what to wear. She was already twenty-minutes late for a “date” at Tate’s house and standing in a bra, skirt and messy hair that had dried on its own from the shower and now frizzing. She wasn’t going to get out of there anytime soon.
Why was she so nervous? Everything she tried on was either too city looking or too simple. She was insecure and had no idea what to expect. This whole thing was shaping up to be a big mess and she couldn’t get her head wrapped around it.
She was nervous to see Tate. Odd for a woman never nervous around men before. Everything she called on to be tough, wasn’t really helping her right now. Because for the same reason she was nervous, she was excited.
