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He looked surprised and confused. “A cowboy? No. I don’t get it.” He sank down next to me and took my hands in his. “Please explain what you mean.”
I sniffled. “I read somewhere that good cowboys sleep on the floor when they come home after a long trip. They do it so they don’t get used to sleeping in a bed again. That way, when they go back out to herd, it’s not that bad—they’re still used to being uncomfortable.”
“So… you’re the cowboy,” he said. “And I’m the bed.”
“That’s right, James,” I said. “I’m the cowboy, and you’re the bed. I have to sleep on the floor—I can’t get soft. I can’t have you taking care of my problems and making everything all comfortable and squishy. Because after next week, I’m back out there, sleeping on the hard ground. And if you’re too nice to me, it’s just gonna hurt that much worse.”
“You need to stay rugged,” James said, playing along. “You don’t want you to throw your back out or worse, lose your edge.”
“Right?” I said, sniffling again. “No one wants that.”
“No one wants that.” He paused for a second, watching my face. “So maybe you shouldn’t go back out there.” He pulled me into his arms and held me close, kissing the top of my head. “Maybe you should just stay.”
James
Only idiots put all their cards on the table and hoped for the best. And yet here I was, cradling her in my arms, asking her to stay with me.
She sniffled yet again and sat up, pulling back from me a little, straightening her shoulders and regaining her composure. “You’re sweet,” she said, and I could tell from the tone in her voice that she was dismissing what I’d just said to her. She didn’t know if I meant it, and I couldn’t blame her. So she was giving me a pass to act as if it meant nothing.
Take the pass, James, I thought. Until you can get your head on straight.
Expert actress that she was, Audrey turned the conversation around fast. “What on Earth did my mother make of you?”
“She thought I was… pleasant,” I lied. She asked me if I was paying you enough, and why I couldn’t find a ‘real’ woman. “I told her that she can’t ever take money from your brother’s facility again.”
“I told her that last night. She doesn’t care about anything other than what she can get away with.”
“That was the impression I got, unfortunately,” I said.
Audrey grimaced. “I can’t believe you went and saw where she lives. And talked to her. I’m so embarrassed.”
I reached out and grabbed her hand. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. She’s not you. You’re nothing like her—and by that I mean you’re honest, caring, and kind-hearted.”
“I can’t believe that she’d do that to my brother. I mean, I can—’cause she’s done it. But still.” Her tears had dried up and she had a resigned look on her face. “I should probably do that paperwork.” She grabbed it, and I went and got her a pen.
She started signing the documents that would remove her mother as a signatory on her brother’s account. “How much did you pay New Horizons?” she asked without looking up at me.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it does. You’re paying me a ridiculous amount for these two weeks. We’ll just deduct it from that.”
“No, Audrey. We won’t.”
Now she looked up at me, her jaw clenching. “How much money did you give my mother?”
“I’m not telling you that, either.”
“You have to,” she said. “I’m paying you back, James. I don’t want this on my conscience for the rest of my life. My mother’s my cross to bear—not yours. I don’t want her having anything to do with you.”
“We don’t have to argue about it right now. Okay?” I asked. She finished signing the papers, and I pulled her back to me, placing her head against my chest. “Just let it go,” I said.
“You have to promise that I can pay you back. It has to be even between us,” she said. “Otherwise, I’ll feel like a user. Not just a whore.”
“Stop it,” I said, anger flashing through me—not at her, but at her circumstances. “You’re doing what you’re doing for the right reasons. You don’t have to be ashamed of the choices you’ve made. Protecting someone you love is the most important thing you can do.”
She looked at me stubbornly. “I’m not ashamed. I just want you to promise me.”
“I’ll promise you anything, Audrey.”
