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She held my gaze. Just once, I wanted to run my hands down her whole body. Take her clothes off and press my face against her naked skin. Feel what it was like to see her light up underneath me. Make her moan in pleasure.
"Well, good night," she said again, seeming flustered. "See ya in the morning." She pushed past me and closed the door immediately.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Or not. Sighing, I headed back to my room, where I could at least jerk off and find some release.
But I knew that wouldn't be enough. It wouldn't be nearly enough.
Ugh, I thought, collapsing on my bed. This is what having feelings is like.
Frustrated, I padded back to Lo's room. She had to be feeling what I was feeling—at least some of it. When I got there, I promptly lost my nerve. I just stood outside her door, wanting to knock.
For an hour.
I had to respect her boundaries, even as I wanted to crash through them to take her in my arms. I gave up and went back to bed, not even bothering to masturbate. I wanted to feel her next to me. Nothing else would satisfy me.
I fell into a fitful sleep, cursing my attempts at being a responsible adult. Being a responsible adult was exhausting and lonely.
I was starting to lose hope, and that dull ache was back. If Disneyland wasn't going to work on her, what the hell was?
* * *
The next morning, we were all business. Gym, Jamba, lunch. Neither of us spoke about the day before.
Lo wasn't looking at me, and I was too ashamed to look at her. It was as if we'd crossed some sort of line, and although there was no going back, there was no going forward, either.
After lunch, we set up camp in her living room. She was checking email, and I was catching up on the XYZ site when my phone buzzed. It was a text from my father.
I want you to come up and meet with me, he wrote. I have an offer for you.
I can't, I wrote back.
Find a way to make it work. Charge the tickets to my account. I'll see you tomorrow, he wrote. He texted me his credit card numbers, which was an act so out of character that I sat there, stunned. I hadn't seen him in so long. I felt as though this was an offer I couldn't refuse. Sighing, I looked up to find Lo watching my face.
"What's the matter?" she asked.
I held up my phone. "My father wants to talk to me. In person. Tomorrow. In Boston."
She blew out a deep breath, looking worried. "What does he want?"
"He says he has an offer for me. I think I should hear him out, but I don't know how that's gonna work right now…"
"I'll go with you," Lowell said. "I mean, if that's okay."
I smiled at her. "Of course it's okay." I didn't want to be away from her for a minute.
"We can make it look like a sexy getaway. Which hopefully won't push your father over the edge."
I grinned, trying to make light of the heaviness between us. "You had me at sexy."
"Stop," she said, looking back at her screen. "I'll have Tori take care of the tickets and the hotel. How many nights should we go for?"
"Three?" I asked. "I've never been to Boston."
"Me either."
"Then let's be tourists while we're there. The photographers probably won't follow us, so we'll have to take a ton of selfies to keep everybody happy."
"I'll let Lucas and Shirley know what's going on," Lowell said.
