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The photography session went well. There was an easy familiarity between me and Blake as we sat in the middle of the park. The photographer had us look into each other's eyes, hold hands, and had me drape my arm over her shoulders. The proofs he sent us afterward looked amazing. We looked like a real-life couple, gorgeous and smiling, all the happiness in the world in front of us.
Looking at the photographs, it was hard to believe it was a lie.
I had dinner delivered to the penthouse that night. We sat outside on the deck, overlooking the park below.
"I'm sorry I gave you a hard time about my friends," Blake said out of the blue. She was trying to get a crouton under the control of her fork and struggling.
"I was being an ass," I said. The other escorts were hot, but salivating over them in front of her had been insensitive.
"You're free to ogle who you like," Blake said, finally skewering the crouton.
I smiled at her. "That's not true. I'm spoken for. Engaged."
"You know what I mean."
I put down my fork. "Blake, I won't be with anyone else while we're together." I hadn't thought this part through, but I meant it. In addition to just being rude, it would be dangerous for me to seek physical release with someone else. If my sister got a hold of something like that, she would be crying fraud immediately.
Blake put down her own fork and raised an eyebrow at me. "You're going to be celibate for a whole year?"
I coughed. When she said it like that… "Aren't you?"
She shrugged. "Yes, but I don't mind." Her tone was challenging.
"I don't mind, either."
Blake furrowed her brow as she took a sip of wine. She was obviously mulling something. "Why are you so against… being with me? Do I disgust you? I mean—because of what I do?" Her tone wasn't self-deprecating. It was genuinely, intensely curious.
"Listen to me." I reached for her hand and held it across the table. "You are not capable of eliciting disgust from anyone. It doesn't matter what you do. You're a good person, Blakey." I smiled at her, trying to lighten the mood.
She pulled her hand back. "Don't tease me. I'm being serious."
I reached for her again, trapping her hand underneath mine so she couldn't escape. "So am I. You do not disgust me. In fact, the opposite is true. You’re gorgeous. I'm attracted to you. I was thinking about you this morning when you so rudely interrupted my jerking off." I felt my heart rate pick up. I was laying it all out for her.
She looked pleased for a moment but then stifled her reaction. "Oh."
"On top of that," I continued, "I think you're a good person. You take care of your mother. You're working as an escort in
order to protect the people you love. I admire you."
I could feel her knee starting to bounce nervously under the table. "Okay."
"I would sleep with you six ways from Sunday if I thought it wouldn't cause a problem between us down the road. But I think it would. And I can't jeopardize my family fortune in order to test that theory. Okay?"
"Why do you think it would?"
I let out an exasperated groan. "Are you dying to sleep with me? Because you're being awfully stubborn about this."
Blake cleared her throat. "I just want to be sure I understand."
"That's a non-answer, Blakey."
"That's the only answer I've got." Blake smiled at me bravely. "So tell me again."
I drank some more wine and reluctantly let go of her hand. "Ever since Elizabeth and I broke up, I've only had one-night stands with women. I'm sure that sounds terrible."
"I'm not going to judge you," Blake said. "Is it because she broke your heart?"
"No." I scrubbed my hand over my face. "I realized that the relationship was a waste of time, and that I didn't want another one. My needs could be met in other, more short-term ways."
