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“Do you think it worked?” Lauren asked. I’d brought lunch to Paragon, but she was only pushing her grilled salmon around inside its reusable container.
“I don’t know.” I still hadn’t told Lauren the full extent of what had happened with the guard who’d assaulted me—I didn’t w
ant to burden her with any more guilt. But I’d explained that the therapist was treating me with EMDR for my anxiety.
“How does the light impact you, exactly?” Lauren’s scientific brain craved details.
I chewed my quinoa thoughtfully, trying to remember exactly what Karen had said. “At first she had me think of something that was bothering me—a negative thought that was causing me anxiety—and then she asked me how the thought made me feel.”
“I need an example,” Lauren said. “I can’t picture this.”
“My negative thought was that when the guards had me, I felt helpless. I felt powerless, and that’s seriously stressful for me. So the other night, when I had a panic attack and my body went out of control, I felt powerless all over again, and it was this self-fulfilling episode of…crap, for lack of a better word. Mental crap that incapacitated me.”
Lauren’s shoulders slumped.
“I’m not telling you this if you’re going to get upset.”
She frowned. “Fine. Tell me how the therapy works.”
“The doctor had me say my negative thought out loud, and she ran the light box at the same time. The idea behind is that you activate the old memory to short-term memory at the same time your eyes track the light. Supposedly the memory becomes blurred, and the bad memory loses some of its power.” I wrinkled my nose, unsure if I’d explained it right. “Does that make sense?”
“Absolutely.” Lauren’s eyes lit up—science excited her. “The treatment disrupts the negative thought process. The sequencing allows the brain to make new connections while the negative thought is present. It’s pretty brilliant in its simplicity.” Satisfied, she finally took a bite of her lunch.
I laughed.
“What?”
“I’m glad it makes sense to you. I thought my doctor was crazy when she sat me in front of a lightbox, but if you think there’s a valid scientific reason for it, that’s good enough for me.”
“Do you feel better?”
“I don’t know. I think so? My anxiety has been…” Situational. I refused to say it out loud. Wesley and I still hadn’t had sex, and that was starting to cause me anxiety. “Minimal.”
Lauren didn’t look fooled. “Go to the follow-up appointments.”
“Yes, ma’am. I already put them in my calendar. But enough about that—where are we with my proposed plan for Li Na?”
Lauren hadn’t mentioned it, and I’d been dying to know her thoughts.
She smiled, a gleam lighting up her eyes. “I had an idea.”
“For…?”
The smile widened into a grin. “A prototype we can upload to Paragon’s server—something to tempt Li Na with. I’ve been secretly working on this technology for months, and it’s shiny and glittery and full of promise, but it doesn’t work yet. It has a flaw.”
I leaned forward. “Is the flaw so tiny only my brilliant CEO-scientist sister would be able to notice it?”
“That’s right.” Lauren looked pleased with herself. “Li Na’s a wannabe—she would never flag this design defect until it’s too late. At least, I think she wouldn’t. I still need to work on how to present the specs, but the thoughts have been coming fast and fierce.”
I clapped my hands together. “Yes! I want to hear all the details.” My phone buzzed, and I glanced at it—a text from Fiona.
I’ve decided to go ahead with the agreement with Jiàn…and the plan.
Excellent. I’m in a meeting. Call you later to talk.
I did a double fist-pump. “This is totally turning into my day.”
