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She smiled wanly. “I learned from the best—Li Na herself. Now, can you call Fiona to update her about all this? I’m swamped this afternoon.”
I gave up on my salad and stood. “Of course. I’ll call her now.”
“Don’t you want your lunch?” Lauren called.
“I’ve officially lost my appetite.” I hustled down the hall before she could scold me.
I’d only spoken to Fiona a couple of times since the day we’d gone to Mado; traumatized by the incident, she’d pulled Katie and Quinn from school. She’d been busy trying to work from home while coordinating tutors for the girls. She had stopped leaving the house, having groceries delivered and conducting meetings via Skype from her living room.
Ellis had told Wes that the drama of that day had gotten to her—her brief glimpse of feeling safe after Jim’s shooting had passed. Now Fiona was pulling out all the stops to protect her daughters.
She answered on the first ring. “Hey.” Her voice was scratchy, as if she was coming down with something or she hadn’t slept.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
She sighed. “The police and Agent Marks from the FBI just left. They don’t have any leads on Jim’s shooter, and I’m just…I don’t know. At my wit’s end.”
Carey, my hired traitor, was looking into this for me. He’d promised to canvass his network of hired guns to find out who was responsible for killing Jim Pace. I hadn’t mentioned it to Fiona—I didn’t want to get her hopes up about finding the attacker.
“I’m so sorry,” I said instead.
“I know. It’s very frustrating.” She paused for a beat. “What’s going on over there? The license deal went through yesterday—I still can’t believe I did it, that I sold to that…murderer. I figured there would be news.”
“Leo confirmed that the files were uploaded to Jiàn’s servers today. They’re beginning the reverse-hack.”
Fiona exhaled shakily. “I don’t know about this anymore. I don’t know if this is the answer.”
“I don’t know, either.” I traced a pattern on my desk with my finger, wishing things were different, easier. “I don’t think there’s a rational, direct way to deal with someone like Li Na. I think the best we can hope for is some sort of justice.”
“Justice. Huh.” Fiona sounded as if she might be crying, and I crumbled inside. “I don’t know if anything like that’s going to happen.”
I didn’t, either. “That’s not going to stop me from trying.”
“We need to talk about that. About you. I’ve been thinking about you.” She blew her nose, seeming to collect herself.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve taken on a lot of the responsibility for dealing with Li Na. You need to
be clear about why you’re doing this.” Fiona perked up at the topic. Generous, direct, and analytical, she was at her best in mentor mode—the main reason her book had been an international bestseller.
She cleared her throat, no longer crying, and continued. “One of the things I always ask a new hire is, ‘Why do you want to be here? What’s in it for you?’ Because the personal informs the professional. You have to be passionate about your choices for it to really sync, for you to be fully committed. That concept applies here.”
I closed my eyes, images running through my head: the guard leering at me, Wes going down hard after getting shot, Fiona’s stricken face at the funeral. “I feel pretty passionate about taking Li Na down.”
“I know you do—but what’s the reason? And I mean the real reason: what’s in it for you?”
I thought of Wes holding me, feeling safe in his arms. “The future. I need a future without Li Na terrorizing the people I love.”
“Well…then you’ll probably be successful, or at least go down fighting,” Fiona said. “I just hoped this wasn’t about revenge for you or proving yourself. You don’t need either.”
But of course, I’d like both. I thought about that for a second—was it true? Maybe, but just as I couldn’t fathom Li Na being solely motivated by “face,” I didn’t believe myself capable of hurting others just for revenge. I wasn’t wired that way. “It’s not about that. It’s about my family.”
“In the end, that’s all that matters.”
I winced. Fiona had lost the person who mattered most to her.
“Revenge is lovely in theory, but in practice? There aren’t enough hours in my lifetime to get back at Li Na. And nothing can undo what she’s done.”
