AllFreeNovel
Share Us
It only takes a few more strokes, each one harder and faster.
I slam into her one last time, burying my head in the crook of her neck as hot streams leave me and my dick pulses deep inside of her.
A thin sheet of cold sweat covers my body as I lift my head and kiss her once, then twice on the lips. Her fingers spear through my hair and pull me in for one more. Our hot breath mingles between us and it’s all I’ve ever wanted. Everything I’ve dreamed of for the last decade.
As our breathing calms, she nestles herself into the crook of my arm and all it does is make me want more of her. So many years I’ve had to live without her in my bed. When she should have been here all along.
I kiss her hair, trying to remember what she told Margo. It doesn’t matter. It’ll be twisted just enough to be convincing and enticing and I can read all about it in the gossip columns and trashy magazines tomorrow.
All I know is that the one good thing I ever had when I was a kid, is now going to be slandered. I deserve it all anyway. In one way or another. She doesn’t though.
“I’m sorry for what I said,” she says, letting me know she’s thinking about it, too.
I kiss her hair again and clear the tightness in my throat before telling her, “I know what you said in the interview wasn’t intentional. She baited you but you’re smarter than that, Hally.”
She tries to pull away from me and I give a little, only enough so that she grabs my forearms and looks up at me. “I said I was sorry,” she tells me and then sniffles. “I’m sorry for what I said here too,” she admits and then stares straight at my chest. “I don’t know why I said that.”
“Because I was a coward,” I tell her. I can admit it. I was afraid. I convinced myself that she needed to be away from me because I was terrified of destroying her. “I’m sorry,” I add.
“I didn’t mean–” she starts to tell me, but then stops short, not wanting to fight again or to bring it up. A habit of hers.
I could ask her which part. In here, or in the interview. But I don’t want to know. I want it all to go away. The thing about letting your anger slip out in the form of words is that they can’t be taken back. All the hurt and pain inflicted will always be remembered.
And we’re both guilty of that.
Chapter 14
Harlow
Ten years ago
November 10
* * *
The lightning bugs under the trees light up the night far more than I thought they would. Other than pale moonlight that’s scattered by the remaining leaves, it’s dark in the back of the car, but not nearly as dark as I imagined it would be. I thought there were more trees up here. It’s been a long time since I’ve come up here to the running trails.
It’s beautiful still.
It doesn’t change the fact that my first time will be in the back of a car on Fairview Hill.
“Is it your first?” Nathan asks me. My heart races as Nathan sits up and pushes the front seat further up to give us room. We planned this, but I’m still scared. It’s stupid. It’s just sex. But it’ll change everything. I know it will. And I want Nathan to be my first and only. I love him. And even if he hasn’t said it back, I know he loves me too.
“Yeah,” I finally answer him in a breath, taking my eyes away from the scenery and then looking into his dark eyes. They seem lighter tonight for some reason. “I’ve never had sex before,” I tell him as I prop up on my elbows.
He licks his bottom lip at my answer but doesn’t say anything else and it makes my heart pound harder and anxiety race through me.
“Don’t worry,” he tells me gently as he leans down to rest his forehead against mine. He kisses me once, quick and chaste as he rubs his thumb along my jawline. “I’ve got you.” He keeps telling me that and in my head, I imagine he really means that he loves me.
We’re sprawled out in the backseat. I hide my laugh under my hand as Nathan hits his head on the ceiling again as he tries to take his shirt off.
“Do we have to get all the way naked?” I ask him and then try to play it off like it’s not that serious. But I don’t want to out here. Not with this much light and knowing someone else could come.
“You want me to just pull your skirt up?” he asks me and I feel stupid. I turn my head to stare at the backseat and try to shake off all these nerves.
