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I had to leave, run away to somewhere where I couldn't hurt anyone, especially not Lend. But after how he opened up to me, how much he trusted me, I owed him more than that. Trying not to cry, I padded across the hall to the room he was staying in. Lend was asleep, almost invisible, sprawled out and tangled in the blankets. He looked adorable. It broke my heart. Next to him on the bedside table was his open sketchbook.
Tiptoeing over, I saw in the pale dawn light what he had been working on. It was a portrait of me, probably one he had started in art class. I was in this sassy pose, holding Tasey and giving this awesome I rock! look to all the world. Lend drew me the way he saw me, and I was beautiful.
I totally started bawling. Lend sat up, startled awake, and color flooded into him. “Evie? What's wrong?”
I shook my head; I could barely see him through my tears. “I think I'm killing you. ”
Chapter Thirty-Three
PINK, SHINY LOVE
Lend looked confused. “You think you're killing me?”
“I just--Vivian said--And I'm getting brighter, and--”
“Calm down. ” Lend scooted over and patted the bed next to him. Sniffling, I sat down, careful not to touch him. “What are you talking about?”
“I know who's doing this. Her name is Vivian and she's my sister--sort of, I guess? She said we're not really sisters, but we're the same thing. ”
“When did you talk to her?” He sounded surprised and nervous.
“Last night. And a couple of other nights. While I was sleeping, in my dreams. ”
He tried not to smile. “So you've been dreaming that this thing is your sister?”
“No. ” I shook my head. “I thought they were just dreams, thought I was going crazy because I was worried, but then she told me she'd send me a message and she did, on my communicator. It's downstairs in the kitchen in a drawer. I found it, I'm sorry. ”
Lend frowned. “Seriously?”
I nodded, wishing it weren't true.
“Wow. So what has she been telling you?”
“It's kind of confusing. But she says we're the same thing, that we weren't born, we were made. That we're empty, and she said--” I started crying again “--I don't have a soul. I'm just empty and cold like her, and that's why she takes the souls. To fill herself up. But she thinks she's doing a good thing, setting the paranormals free from this world. Her souls are always there, glowing and beautiful, and she said the faeries want her to kill me, but she wants us to be a family. ”
Lend was quiet; so quiet. I waited for him to shout for his dad, to back away in terror.
“She says that if I don't start taking these souls, the energy, that I'll die, since I don't have a soul of my own. But I don't want to! And, Lend, I'm so sorry, but I've been getting brighter, my heart, and--what if I'm taking your soul? When we touch, kiss?” I could barely talk I was crying so hard now. “I don't want to hurt you. I'm so, so sorry. ”
He sat motionless for a long time. Then, to my shock, he reached out and took my hand. I tried to pull back. “No! I don't want to hurt you!”
“Evie,” he said, his voice tender and serious. He held my hand tighter. “Do you really think that's true? Even if this Vivian is who you think she is, why would she tell you the truth?”
I shook my head. “I don't know. It makes sense. Why else would we look the same? And the glowing? And I've always felt cold and empty. ”
He reached out and put his hand on my chin, forcing me to look at him. “You have a soul. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. No one as bright and happy and caring as you could not have a soul. ”
“But what about the glowing? It's getting stronger. ”
“Do you feel yourself pulling anything out of me? Does it feel like what Reth did to you?”
I frowned, thinking about it. Lend made me warm and happy, but it wasn't the same. Reth's always felt foreign, like something new was being put in. With Lend, it was like he was warming what was already inside me. I shook my head. “But you don't feel weaker?”
He laughed. “Not at all. If anything, I have more energy than ever. And I'm definitely happier than I've ever been. ”
I couldn't believe it. Here I'd just told him I was a monster, that I was designed to suck souls out of paranormals, and he was okay with it. “But I know I'm the same thing Vivian is. I talked to your mom. She said it was true. ”
“She talked to you? Wow. She doesn't show up for anyone except me and my dad. Did she think you were going to do anything bad?”
