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Honestly, he wasn't that cute. The curly mop of blond hair and too-big blue eyes got on my nerves. Oh, look at me, I'm so adorable and innocent, I can show up wherever I want and screw with Evie's life!
"Okay," I hissed, nervous at the growing crowd. Miss Lynn would figure out something was going on when no one rushed to start stretching. The more zealous were always out earlier to warm up. "Thanks for the delivery, now go! Away! Now!"
"But I just got here. " He stuck out his lower lip in a mock pout.
"Quick, before Miss Lynn-"
"Before I what?" a familiar tenor voice asked behind me. My spine stiffened in terror. This wasn't my fault! Surely I couldn't get in trouble for this. Miss Lynn placed one beefy hand on my shoulder, and it was all I could do to stay standing under the weight.
Jack took his sweet time, looking her up and down, his eyes lingering on her linebacker body.
She growled, "And who is your friend, Green?"
I was dead. I was so, so dead. I was going to be expelled and then I'd never get into Georgetown, and I'd work at the diner for the rest of my life and Lend would marry the dryad lab assistant and they'd have half-tree-and-one-quarter-water-thing babies, and no one would know quite what they were, but they'd be beautiful. And I'd serve them French fries when they came home to visit.
Jack looked at me, exaggerated confusion clouding his face. "I don't know her. "
"Oh, really. " Miss Lynn was trying not to sound amused, but I could hear the glee in her voice. This was way better than marking me tardy.
"No. I came here to see you. I didn't believe the rumors, but after hearing it on so many continents I had to come and see for myself. "
"See what?"
His eyes widened in adulation, his voice taking on a reverent tone. "If it was true that Helen of Troy, nay, Aphrodite herself had been reincarnated in gym teacher form. "
The room was utterly silent. Except Vicious Redhead's jaw dropping to the ground with a little plink. Or maybe I imagined that. And then the class did the worst thing possible: They started giggling. Miss Lynn was going to murder me.
Jack fell to his knees on the bench, his eyes rolling back in ecstasy as he clutched both hands to his heart. "Oh, heavens above, to have seen such beauty with my own eyes! It's more than I ever hoped for. But how can I live now, knowing that you're not mine? Please. " He crawled forward to the edge of the bench. "Marry me. Nay, marriage will cost us precious moments together. Let us make sweet, passiona
te love right here. Let me bear your children. "
A primal growl signaled Miss Lynn getting over her shock at being thus addressed. She lunged forward; Jack deftly rolled off the bench, jumping up out of her reach.
"Goodness, I didn't expect you to be quite this enthusiastic about my advances. If I don't play hard to get, how will I ever know whether or not you respect me?"
Another growl, this one sounding like "you!" Or perhaps, "eew!" because that's certainly how I felt about this whole exchange. Everyone stopped laughing and watched, wide-eyed with horror, unsure whether to stay or distance themselves from the inevitable outcome, which would quite possibly involve Jack's dismemberment.
I didn't know who to root for.
Dodging another grab, Jack used the bench as a launching point, bouncing off and propelling himself to the top of the row of lockers. If I didn't know for sure he was human, I would have suspected something paranormal behind his acrobatics. He had a future in the Olympics, provided Miss Lynn didn't kill him first.
"How about I call? We'll do lunch. " He blew a kiss toward Miss Lynn's increasingly purple face and jumped off onto the next row. I noticed a small flash of light. Panic welled up in my chest, but the entire class had gathered here. No one else saw.
Miss Lynn shoved past me, running to block the exit. "Guard the gym door!" she shouted, eyes blazing as she took up her position and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
But Jack was long gone, having eluded both Miss Lynn and any repercussions for his idiotic actions. She fixed her beady black eyes on me, and my stomach sank with the knowledge that I'd have no such luck.
Thanks a lot, Raquel.
Chapter Ten
There's No Place Like Home
What were you thinking, sending that rabid monkey child to my school?" I shouted into my communicator.
