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“What about the bodies?” Sarah whispers, and I am so glad I can’t see what she can. I crawl across the floor to the couch, then sit and put my arm around her shoulder. She leans into me. My head still hurts where Darren hit it with the gun.
Darren’s dead now.
“Call Nathan,” Rafael says. “Tell him what happened. This house is officially closed, but he can come clean up.”
Sarah squeezes my hand, then stands and walks out of the room, her voice trailing away as she gives directions over the phone.
I shake my head, overwhelmed and tired. And then I realize that I don’t feel guilty. Darren and the other man wouldn’t have been shot if I hadn’t tackled him and given Casey an opening. I’m entirely culpable in their deaths.
“I’m confused, too,” Casey says.
“Feeler?”
“Yup.”
“Shouldn’t I feel guilty?” I remember how devastated Fia was after helping with the package bomb that killed two people. How hollow she was after killing Clarice. I just feel . . . tired. And a little bit relieved. No one I care about died today.
“I don’t think there’s any way you should or shouldn’t feel right now. I don’t know how to feel, either.” The couch squeaks as she leans forward. “Wow, I am so not looking forward to going back to work.”
“What are you doing there?”
“The usual. Human resources. Light espionage. I mostly interview employees as a human lie detector. It’s my specialty.”
“No, I mean for Rafael.”
“That I can’t tell you. I can’t even let myself think about it. I’ll have to move faster now, though.”
I nod, understanding. “Word of advice: don’t ever plan ahead.”
“Yeah, rotten Seers. No offense. But thanks. Your quick thinking back there saved everyone.”
I nod, not really sure a “you’re welcome” is appropriate with two dead men on the floor.
The front door opens. “Done,” Cole says.
“I’m off then, on my mad getaway from gun-toting brigands. Wish me luck.” She tries for perky on that last sentence, but it sounds wistful and sad.
“Good luck,” I whisper as the door closes behind her.
“We need to get out of here now. Everybody pack,” Rafael says.
I stand and walk up to my room. So much for being bored. I grab my electronics and throw them in the bag I always keep packed with my fake documents. Shove some clothes in on top of them. I don’t have much stuff.
“Do you need help?” Rafael asks from the doorway.
I lean against my closet. “No. I don’t know. I should have seen this coming.”
“Everyone is safe. That’s what’s important.”
I shake my head. “I’m tired of being safe and protected. I want to do something. Give me Adderall.”
“What?”
“I know Sarah’s taking it to give herself a boost. I want it, too. I’m the only one who can see Fia, right? But what good does that do if I never see anything? I need to see more.”
“I’m not sure this is a good idea.”
“I want it. I’ll get it whether or not you help me.” I have no idea how to begin to go about getting drugs illegally. But I hope I sound convincing.
