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“I know what it is. It’s essentially legalized speed. How long have you been taking it?”
“Just today.” I frown. He’s annoying me. I don’t want to talk about this. I want to go for a walk. I should go for a walk. I stand and try to leave, but he grabs my arm.
“Wait. I’ve seen visions happening on an MRI with Sarah. They’re seizures. Or at least they act almost the same way. And I’m pretty sure this type of medicine can trigger seizures if you’re already prone to them.”
“Or trigger visions.”
“Let me look up the side effects, okay? I wish you had talked to me before taking them.”
“I took them a couple hours ago. Obviously nothing is happening.” I jerk my arm away and walk out of my room. I don’t know this house well yet, and I miss the top stair, almost falling.
“Whoa,” Cole says, catching me around the waist. “What’s going on?”
“Going for a walk! Or a run. I haven’t ever been for a run.”
Adam talks behind me. “She took something.”
Another rattle as the bottle is tossed from Adam to Cole. Cole swears loudly. “Did Rafael give these to you?”
“I asked for them.”
“I’m going to kill him. Get Sarah on the phone right now.”
I open my mouth to argue but it’s hot, it’s so hot in here, and I feel like I’m already running, like the world is spinning under my feet faster than it used to, and then there is light
so much light
and it comes at me and comes at me and doesn’t stop
FIA
Twenty-eight Hours Before
I WAKE UP TREMBLING AND CRYING. I KILLED THEM. I killed them again. I always kill them.
James’s arms come around me, hold me close, hold me together. He holds me together.
If it weren’t for his arms, I don’t know what I’d do.
“Nobody actually lives in North Dakota,” I say, drinking coffee even though it’s early enough I should go back to bed. I’m sitting on the floor next to the couch. Hotel furniture is creepy.
I texted Pixie that I was safe, but fell asleep waiting for James to g
et back. I don’t want to fall asleep again, not if James is leaving.
I can’t think about Rafael, about what I found out tonight. Or I can. I forget that thoughts are safe around James. Thoughts never feel safe anymore. But—oh, what did I do? What did I do, giving Annie to Lerner?
“Have you ever met someone from North Dakota?” I ask, trying to distract myself.
James laughs, neatly folding a pair of slacks before setting them in his luggage. “No, I haven’t.”
“No one has. That’s because it’s not a real place.”
“I’ll be gone two days, tops.”
I stand and run my fingers along his clothes, each placed perfectly in the luggage. “Why do you have to go?”
“Because, pet, it’s important.”
