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Kiss tease.
“But even if you aren’t interested in learning the various spells for making amulets and wands, the book does contain some interesting information about the Bos Clan.”
Nikki placed the old book on the coffee table with care and wrapped their arms around Gunter’s neck. Leaning close, Nikki pressed their face into the side of Gunter’s head, their lips brushing the shell of his ear. “This is the perfect gift. Thank you for thinking of me.”
“I think about you all the time, Nikki.” Gunter’s voice was deliciously low and rough, sending a shiver down their spine. Was Gunter speaking or his dragon? Or maybe a little bit of both? Nikki grinned. They wanted both Gunter and his dragon to think about him all the time. That was a little selfish, but they thought about Gunter constantly.
Gunter cleared his throat and, when he started again, he sounded more like his normal self. “The book wasn’t the only reason I came to visit. There’s something else I want to talk about.”
Nikki bit their bottom lip and tried not to wiggle with excitement. This had to be something good. “Yes?”
“I’ve been discussing it with Alric and Dimitri all evening.”
Okay, this wasn’t the start they were hoping for.
“And we agree that if you don’t wish to accompany us to Sazos, you may remain behind.”
“What?” Nikki squawked while inwardly deflating. Oh hell no, Nikki deserved the chance to have their revenge. The idea of being left behind was like a scorch mark against their soul.
Nikki flopped against the back of the couch and groaned. This was so unfair.
“Your life has been in danger far too much already. It’s bad enough how the Jaeggi treated you for half your life, but to ask you to return to their hideouts time and again is obscene. The insight you’ve given us into the workings of the clan is more than enough.” Gunter turned to take in Nikki’s grim expression. “I want…I want you to remain behind in the safety of the castle for this one.”
“But I’m the one who knows them best.”
“Yes. You, Cassie, and Cameron have gotten us this far. Everyone recognizes that. But Nikki, I’m not blind to what happens to you when we’re there. Every time you go in to those spaces, part of you relives that trauma. How are you supposed to heal if we’re rubbing your nose in it every other week?”
Nikki narrowed their eyes suspiciously at Gunter. “Is that all this is about? Because I’ll tear myself open in a flash if it means getting my revenge on those bastards. And you damn well know that.”
“I do. But destroying your mental health in order to deal damage to them…that isn’t a trade I want you to make.”
Nikki tried to understand what he was saying. They really did. But they were still smarting at the idea they were too fragile in Gunter’s eyes to go.
“I can handle this.”
“Nikki, it’s not about you handling it.” Gunter bowed his head for a moment, looking both pained and weary from the argument already. “It’s about you finally healing from it. And all of this has been extremely unfair to you. We’ve relied heavily on your knowledge of the Jaeggi’s ways to traipse in enemy territory, but you’re not even fully trained. Forcing you into the role of magical protection without a full arsenal of spells at your disposal is reckless. Can’t you trust me enough to pick up the gauntlet on your behalf?”
“This isn’t a matter of trust.” Nikki clenched both hands in their hair, feeling this whole situation spiraling out of control.
“Isn’t it?”
“No. I know how strong you are. But sending you off to war without me going along…that’s the stuff of nightmares. For me, there’s nothing worse. Don’t you understand? The minute they can divide a mage from a dragon, it’s already a plus in their scoreboard.”
“It’s not like I’m going alone. I’ll have a full complement of mages and other dragon warriors with me—”
“Who aren’t as familiar with the Jaeggi methods as I am. You think you learned everything you need just going in twice? That’s arrogance, Gunter.”
Gunter’s mouth opened on a retort, fire in his eyes.
“And if it’s safe enough for you to go into those areas, there’s no reason to leave me behind,” Nikki tacked on, their own temper rising.
Growling, Gunter snapped back, “I told you, this isn’t about safety. It’s about giving you the chance to heal. You can’t tell me you don’t feel the impact of it. Every time we go there and return, you look at the castle walls as if they’re a prison you have to escape from.”
Oh, that was below the belt. Nikki glared at Gunter, ready to punch him in the mouth.
Holding up a hand, Gunter apologized gruffly, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it that way. But I see the way this affects you. And it breaks my heart every time. I don’t want to rub salt in open wounds, Nikki. No one wants that for you. We made the collective decision you need to stay behind from now on. Alright?”
