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Something momentous feels as if it will happen soon, and I know that is resonance. My resonance. So where is it…and where is Sam?
Just as Gail hands out bowls of food, Steph moves to R'jaal's side, a worried expression on her face. "I need a favor," she says, adjusting the kit in her arms. "I can't find Sam, and Juth won't be home until later and I need someone to go after her. I'm afraid she's gone hunting by herself."
Hunting by herself? Now? When visitors have just arrived? I think about Sam's strange expression earlier, how she pulled out of my arms the moment I hugged her. How she seemed desperate to get away.
She is not hunting. She is hiding.
From me.
From resonance. I know this like I know the feel of my spear in my hand, and hot excitement rushes through me. This is what I have been waiting for. Before R'jaal can answer, I surge to my feet. "I will go."
"Oh, but you just got here," Steph says, shaking her head. "You need to rest—"
I hand my bowl back to Gail and give her arm a squeeze of thanks. "I will find Sam," I say again. "I will bring her back when she is ready."
Steph frowns, but I glance over at Rokan, my brother. He gives me a small nod. He knows.
My heart pounding with excitement, I ease my way out of the group and snag my pack. Then, racing, I head for the cliffs.
"You don't even know where she's going," Steph calls out after me.
I do not need to know. Resonance will guide me. Even now, that restless, itchy feeling under my skin, the sensation of wrongness fades the moment I turn toward the snowy hills. I will find Sam. All I need to do is follow my khui.
3
SAM
Hot tears slide down my cheeks as I stumble through the snow, moving as fast as I can. I'm not worried about being quiet or being stealthy. I just want to put distance between me and the village in the hopes that it'll make my rumbling, angry khui slow down. It won't stop. I know now that it's not pounding out of fear or anxiety. It's purring because it thinks that it has found me a mate. Sessah. Of all the people here, the khui picked Sessah.
What the hell is wrong with the damn thing?
Sessah is nice enough, but he's young. He's a kid. And I'm a fucked up adult that doesn't want anyone, and so I'm running like a coward and crying. My feet feel like ice, my boots soaked. I didn't take the time to layer up again, just grabbed my things from my hut and quickly sneaked away when everyone was greeting the others. No one saw me go, not even eagle-eyed Steph.
Why couldn't this have happened to Daisy? Daisy wants a mate and a child desperately. Why does it happen to me, who can't stand to be around any man without getting exceedingly nervous and worried that Brad is going to somehow appear from the shadows and cut my throat? To finish what he started the day he threatened to kill me.
I pause to catch my breath, and my khui hums even louder, the traitor. My whole body feels as if it's shaking with the force of it. My pussy throbs and feels overheated, and I want to drop to my knees and just rub rub rub but I can't. I have to keep going. I have to put as much distance between myself and Icehome Beach as possible.
The only saving grace in this? I think I'm alone in the resonance. For some reason, Sessah's hasn't activated yet. It's rare for the khuis to mistime, I think. Most of the time it happens all at once, but I remember someone saying that Vektal resonated to Georgie before she even had her khui in her body. One is just more decisive than the other, I suppose.
My khui is a pushy asshole and resonating, so if I stay away from the village, maybe it'll stop. I can keep it secret. No one has to know that I resonated but me. I can live alone at the fruit cave, and if anyone comes after me, well, I'll deal with it. I'll explain to them what's up and maybe they can send Veronica out to fix this damn thing.
Though Veronica has sworn that after Marisol, she's not messing with resonance ever again. But this is different, I tell myself. If I'm the only one resonating, I can decide, right? I just need time to get my khui to stop popping off like a damn firecracker.
Really, it's for the best if I nip this in the bud before it ever begins. Sessah is a sweet kid, but he deserves someone that will love him back. Me, I'm broken. All I want is to be left alone.
