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A low groan drifts onto the wind, and heat floods through my body. My pulse pounds directly between my thighs, and I'm both horrified at my response and so full of need that it threatens to overwhelm me. I lean toward the covering, my fingers itching to push it aside and watch. I hold my breath so I can better hear any noises he makes, but my khui's so loud it's going to drown everything out.
Then…I hear it. Another muffled groan, followed by the slick smack of flesh. He's jerking off all right, and I've never heard anything hotter in my life. My hand moves between my thighs, and I'm dismayed to realize that I'm covered in layers of leather. I can't touch myself, even though I want to.
God, I need to. Maybe I should take a turn in the cave after him.
The slapping sound of skin continues, faster and faster, and then I hear my name drift out on a ragged growl. "Sam."
Oh fuck. He's jerking off to me, and my skin shivers with pleasure. I hurriedly step away, wincing with the noise my boots make as they crunch into the snow. My body is throbbing all over, and I can't function.
How the hell did Josie and Haeden last a month? I'm going to be a puddle of goo before the week is out. There's no way I can last. But…resonance is all the things I hate. The last thing I want is a man thinking he's got a claim on me. If he thinks he owns me…I'm back in the same situation I was on Earth.
I can't let that happen ever again. This is my second chance, and I need to play it carefully.
I cross my arms over my chest and wait impatiently, staring out at the snow. I won't look back at the cave if it's the last thing I do. I pretend it doesn't exist. I gaze out at the wintry sky, studying the clouds. It looks like we're going to get more snow dumped on us this day, which will make traveling difficult, and—
There's a sound from the entrance of the cave. Behind me, Sessah clears his throat politely.
I turn, reluctant to look at him. My body is throbbing with unfulfilled need, and I'm half afraid that making eye contact with Sessah after he just pleasured himself is going to make it worse. I'm not surprised that he looks utterly delicious when I see him—his braid is slightly rumpled from sleep, strands floating around his flushed face. His lips are full and dark, as if he was biting them while he worked himself, and his tail flicks back and forth in a sinuous, hypnotizing way.
"Better?" I ask brightly. "Did that help?"
Sessah nods, giving me a sheepish look as he steps forward. "I believe it did. I will wait out here for you."
"Me?" I squeak, all my bravado disappearing. "I-I don't need a turn."
"You do not?" He seems surprised. "Is the resonance not affecting you?"
"Not much," I lie. "I'm fine."
I'm not fine. Not in the slightest. But I know if I go in there and start touching myself, I'm not going to be silent. And if Sessah is listening…what's going to stop him from joining me? I can't take the risk. So I squeeze my thighs tightly, give him an even tighter smile, and jerk my head at the distant hills. "Shall we get going?"
8
SESSAH
Sam is as remote as ever.
It is frustrating, to know that we have resonated and yet when I try to talk to her, she wants nothing to do with me. She says we are friends, but I am not certain she believes that. She still holds me at arm's length. She will not look at me. She barely speaks. It is as if she is on this journey alone, and it makes me feel…lonely.
I thought having a mate would change that. Sam is determined not to have one, though. She does not want me. It wounds my heart, but I push past it. She needs time to adjust to resonance. Many of the humans struggle with the concept of a mate that is chosen by the khui. Jo-see and Haeden's story has been told ever since they resonated, usually with much laughter and sly amusement. To think that a human wished to fight resonance for so long.
I think of the other couples back at Croatoan—of Meh-gann and Cashol, of Zennek and Mar-lenn, and of Zolaya and his Air-ee-yon-uh. So many couples who resonated and the moment they laid eyes on each other, they were delighted. I had hoped for such a moment for myself, but it does not seem to be. No one looks at me with delight. No one looks at me with hunger in their eyes.
Sam looks at me as if I have ruined her life. As if my existence makes her miserable.
