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Even our sex didn’t match up to the porn videos.
Sergei parked the car outside a cute Italian place. I’d read the reviews, and they were amazing. I called Bethany up immediately.
I arrived at the table and took a seat. Bethany was ten minutes late, but she arrived. She wore a low-cut dress that stopped above the knee. She was so beautiful.
I got to my feet, kissing her cheek as we’d started to do. This was the first time I’d ever had a girlfriend, and it was glorious.
“Sorry I was late, Andrei, well, he didn’t want me to leave.”
“Oh, are you living with Andrei?”
“Yes.”
This was another part of how different we both were. Her family was happy with her traveling with her husband. The engagement ring was on her finger, and to the rest of the world, they were going to be married. Bethany had confided in me that Andrei wasn’t her first boyfriend. She’d gone to an all-girls school and had met a guy there. She wasn’t a virgin.
A lot of details to take in, but I hadn’t shared a single secret with anyone. Part of me was scared for her.
My virginity for my wedding to Slavik had been a necessity.
I didn’t know if she loved Andrei, not that love played a part in my own marriage. Once again, Slavik kept his distance. He came home and slept beside me, but the only reason I knew that was the dent on his pillow the next morning.
Thinking about my marriage, I felt cold.
There was no love, nor was there any passion. Little by little, I felt like I was dying inside.
Bethany distracted me, telling me about a movie she’d watched. I liked how she talked a lot. It filled the silence. Our meal came, and I noticed she always pushed her salad around the plate.
Her cell phone went off, and she glanced down at the screen and groaned. “I’ve just got to take this. I’ll be right back.”
Again, I was used to her taking calls through our lunches.
I wasn’t hungry.
The waiter came to the table, and I saw Sergei watching me.
“I’ll be back in a moment.” I needed to use the bathroom and with Sergei close, he’d watch the table to make sure none of our stuff was stolen.
I went to the bathroom, washed my hands, and when I chanced a look in the mirror, I saw … sadness.
After pinching my cheeks to add a little pink to my complexion, I left the bathroom, coming to a stop when I saw Bethany just down the hall near the kitchen.
I approached.
“No, please keep talking to me. Anything to stop this from dragging.”
I stopped.
What was dragging?
“Andrei made me ask her to go to lunch, and the last few weeks, that is all we’ve done. She eats all the time, and I’ve never known anyone so dull in all my life. Honestly, I can’t wait to get home. We can go and have some fun. Aurora wouldn’t know fun if it bit her in the ass, and let me tell you, she’s so ugly. Slavik is hot. He’s dangerously hot, he deserves someone so much better than Aurora.”
Biting my lip, I stepped away, leaving her as she continued talking about me.
I headed back to the table, feeling kind of numb. The waiter came and asked about dessert. I told him no and asked for the check.
Looking over at Sergei, I wanted to burst into tears. I’d been so desperate for a friend I hadn’t read the signs.
I was empty. I’d eaten lunch and yet my stomach cramped.
My throat started to burn.
Bethany arrived, and as I looked at her now, I realized the signs I’d been ignoring over the past few weeks. She always arrived late. There was no invitation to her wedding.
“What did I miss?” she asked.
She smiled at me, and part of me thought about playing along, but the truth was, I was so tired of this dance.
The waiter arrived.
I saw the cost and paid it with the cash in my wallet. “I’ve had a call. I’ve got to go. Sorry to cut this short.”
She looked shocked, but I got to my feet, already leaving. She wasn’t used to me being the one to end our time together. Always the damn same.
“I’ll call you,” she said.
I didn’t say anything.
Sergei took the lead, heading out of the restaurant ahead of me. The car was already waiting, so I guessed he’d called ahead. He opened the backseat passenger door, and I climbed in. Sitting back, I took a breath, wiping at my cheeks to make sure the tears wouldn’t fall.
“Take me home,” I said.
I rarely thought of Slavik’s apartment as home.
He didn’t question me.
I stared out the window.
Boring. Ugly. These were words I was used to. They shouldn’t hurt me anymore, and yet, I thought Bethany had started to become a friend.
