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"But you found what you were looking for?"
I shrugged. "I found things that put me on the track to finding what I need. And I found you. "
"Fat lot of good I am to you, dear. "
"I don't know, this is a pretty good glass of tea. "
She smiled, like I hoped she would. "Then it hasn't been for naught. But I have to tell you—I don't know who your father was. I think your grandmother might have known, but I don't know if you'll ever get it out of her. "
"Since she's dead, that's a pretty safe bet. "
"I'm sorry to hear that. It's as I told you: she was trying to do right, even if she didn't go about it in the best way. I got the feeling she didn't know her own children very well at all, and it confused her and made her mad. I hope your aunts learned that—and they learned to forgive her for handling Leslie the way she did. "
I didn't know how to answer that, so I didn't. I don't kno
w about Aunt Michelle, but Lulu hung on to her grudge with a death grip, and I don't think that grip eased up any with my grandmother's passing.
"But I do want you to know, I liked your mother. She was an old soul, as they say sometimes. Older than her years. She was a child, yes, but she was a wise little thing, and she knew she'd screwed up. Even though she was shut away there, out in the hills, she never acted like she was a prisoner. I think she felt better for being there, as strange as that sounds. Like she was relieved to be free of the drama. " Marion finished off the tea and the cigarette in two separate breaths.
"Thank you," I said, since nothing else seemed appropriate.
"Thank you for what?"
"For this, all of it. You told me more about her in a couple of paragraphs than Lulu has ever managed to share. She doesn't like to talk about her, or her mother either. "
"Oh, you're welcome, then. And don't hold it against your aunt; it hurts her to remember, that's all. Leslie was . . . Leslie was something else. " She rose from her seat to take both of our glasses into the kitchen. "Pine Breeze wasn't the happiest place to be. It was someplace that kids went when the rest of the world didn't know what to do with them anymore. It was a place where kids went to cry. "
Marion retreated to the kitchen, and I heard the glasses clink into the sink where she set them down. "But Leslie was there, and I liked her, because she could still laugh. "
III
Next night, after spending an evening with a couple of friends who knew their way outside the city better than I did, I came home with a resolution to leave. Marion was a neat lady and I appreciated her time, but she'd given me everything she knew in a couple of paragraphs. If I was going to get any real answers, I was going to have to head south and hope for the best. I did not anticipate that Lulu would let me do this without a fight, though, and she was unprepared to disappoint me. She was waiting at the door when I pulled in; it was late, but not so late that she could pretend the sound of my car had roused her.
"You've been drinking. " I made it a statement, though I wasn't certain until I got close enough to smell her. It was worth noting aloud, because it wasn't something she did too often when she knew I'd be around. I'd been out most of the night, and Lulu knew better than to wait up for me. I couldn't figure out why she'd done so now.
"So've you. "
"Not much. Just a little wine to go with the conversation. "
I think she knew I was baiting her, so she made a point of not biting. "Dave's in Atlanta, and I got bored," she said instead. "And I'm not feeling too hot, so you never mind what I have and haven't been swallowing. I don't owe you any explanation. "
Usually she wouldn't have asked, but that night curiosity got the better of her.
"Where've you been?"
"Walking to and fro upon the earth. "
"No dice, Job. " Lulu's sharp even when she's hammered. Sometimes I think it's cool, and sometimes I wish she were more easily impressed. This time her response was hard, and it utterly lacked any saving cushion of humor. I was immediately ill at ease; her tone was crying for conflict, and that was never a good thing.
"Where were you at? And what are you up to?"
I had no reason to lie. I'd already decided I was leaving, anyway. I was glad I'd found Marion, but she had only told me that there was nothing for me to learn there in the valley. It had taken me a couple of days to come to terms with it, but once that difficult truth had settled in, the rest of my course was as clear as it was peculiar.
"I was out with Jamie and Drew," I said, "but that's not half as interesting as what I was up to this weekend. I went to Pine Breeze. It wasn't that hard to find. " I took a hard breath and stepped past her. I went down the hall to my room without looking back, then gathered an overnight bag and started packing it with clean underwear. Socks followed suit, and a clean pair of jeans. Lulu trailed behind me and stood in the doorway, one arm lightly hanging on the frame in a gesture that had become very familiar to me.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Macon," I responded without looking up from my bag. "Now are you gonna ask what I think I'm gonna find?"
