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“I don’t—”
“Let me explain, Olivia.” The name seemed to please her, and she smiled. “I did not think I would ever see you again. Do you remember when—” But she stopped herself, shaking her head. “No, first I will explain, then we can talk of the past.”
“I would like that.”
Sarah gathered her thoughts. “I fell in love. I suppose that is the beginning of my story. I fell in love and agreed to allow my lover to keep me.”
“But didn’t Mama—”
“Mama didn’t know until I told her. By then the situation was beyond our parents’ control. I left Bassingthorpe. My lover kept me here, in London, and I was happy. By the time I realized he’d tired of me, or had begun to listen to the persuasions of his family and friends, I was with child. He didn’t answer my letters, and I was desperate, so I wrote to Mama and she and Father arranged for me to go to Cornwall, to a distant relative, to have the child there.”
“Why was I never told this?” Olivia said, torn between anger and sorrow. “I should have known.”
“You were a child,” Sarah replied matter-of-factly. “You wouldn’t have understood. As far as you were concerned I was away at school.”
“You wrote to me, I remember,” Olivia said, the memories coming back to her. “You told me all about your lessons.”
“Yes.” Sarah smiled sadly. “I enjoyed making up those stories. I thought of your face when you read them, and I wanted you to smile and believe I was happy.”
“But you weren’t happy.”
“No. I missed my lover.”
“Sarah…”
“You can’t tell your heart who to love, Olivia. I’m sure you know that by now. I decided to come back to Bassingthorpe and throw myself upon his mercy.”
“You were the woman with the babe in her arms,” Olivia said as the pieces fell in place. “The woman who turned up at Castle Lacey.”
“Yes. But he abandoned me. Again.”
Responding to the pain in her voice, Olivia reached forward and grasped her sister’s hand. Her skin was cool and dry, and her fingers lay limp in Olivia’s. “Oh Sarah.”
“My parents abandoned me, too. They decided to say I had died while I was away, to save themselves the embarrassment of a scandal and explanations. Tidy me away, you see. Father couldn’t bear to be looked down on by his colleagues, and Mama was embarrassed.”
Remembering her mother’s woebegone face and her father’s reticence, Olivia didn’t think it had been quite that easy, but now was not the time to come to their defense.
“Nic bought me this house and I live here. I see him when he comes to London, and he pays my bills and sees that Jonah is cared for as befits a Lacey.” She smiled, gazing toward the window, where her son sat in the garden.
“So you’re not abandoned after all. Nic hasn’t abandoned you.”
Sarah turned to stare at her, her expression confused. “Dominic. Is he here?”
“No, Sarah. I’ve come alone.”
“My husband will be here soon,” Sarah said, her fingers closing tightly on Olivia’s, painfully so. “He comes to see me when he can. But it’s a secret, so don’t tell anyone.” She lifted a finger to her lips and gave an exaggerated shhh. “No one must know.”
It occurred to Olivia then that her sister wasn’t altogether well. She was staring at the window again, humming softly, as if she’d forgotten who Olivia was and what they’d been saying. Olivia wanted to ask more questions, she wanted answers, but it was clear she wasn’t going to get any.
“The mistress is tired.”
The voice startled her. The sober housekeeper was back, and Olivia wondered if she’d been there all along, outside the door, listening to their conversation.
“You should go now,” the woman added, with a meaningful look. “Mrs. Lacey needs to rest.”
Olivia stood up, hesitated, and leaned forward to clasp her sister firmly in her arms. Sarah felt small and vulnerable and not at all the big sister Olivia had remembered with love all these years. Sarah hugged her back, smiling, but she appeared puzzled, as if she wondered why this stranger was being so affectionate.
“Good-bye, Sarah,” Olivia murmured. “I will come again, and soon.”
