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“Averil,” Beth called again, “where are you?”
They could hear James’s deeper voice trying to reassure, but Averil knew there would be no reassuring her companion until she clapped eyes on her charge. Averil removed Rufus’s jacket and gave his hand a squeeze.
“I have to go back.”
“I know.” His smile was wry. “Reality intrudes.”
And then they were moving into the dim light of the castle windows, back to normality.
“We were looking at the lake,” she said reassuringly as soon as she saw Beth, and hoped no one could see the ravages of emotion on her face.
Beth gave her a narrowed look, but James distracted her by beginning a long story about how he’d swum there as a boy. Rufus held her arm across the uneven paving on the terrace and back into the drawing room, and then he stepped back, away from her.
Distancing himself.
Averil turned to try to read the expression in his dark eyes, but his head was bowed, and then he was turning toward James and the moment was lost. The doubts his kisses had helped to calm rose up again. There was something, she knew it, could sense it. There was something wrong.
“I think we should retire,” Beth said. “It has been a long day, and we have another one tomorrow.”
“Of course. Good night.” Averil smiled at the room in general, realizing how exhausted she was.
She and Beth climbed the stairs together.
“I know I’m right,” Beth said when they were out of earshot. “The dreadful servants, the grounds so unkempt, the closed rooms. I took a moment earlier to poke about and, Averil, I would say the Southbrooks
are definitely bust.”
Averil giggled.
“Why is that funny?”
“Oh, Beth, it’s obvious they haven’t two pennies to rub together. They’ve put on a show for us because they’re too proud to admit it. James has probably done all of this for you,” she added innocently.
Beth thought a moment and then she said, “I can think of another reason.”
Averil shot her a look to silence her. “I will hear no more,” she said quietly. “I am enjoying this visit. I am enjoying Lord Southbrook’s company. Please, Beth, don’t spoil it.”
Beth bit her lip, but when she left Averil at her bedroom door she still looked worried.
The earl of Southbrook tossed and turned in his four-poster bed. For a time he lay on his back, staring up at the moth-eaten canopy. Was it his guilty conscience that made it impossible for him to sleep? But why should he feel guilty? He’d tried to warn her. He’d even done his best to drive her away. If she wouldn’t listen then surely that was her fault?
With a curse he got up and went to the window. From there he could see the water of the pond, and he rested his forehead against the cold glass and closed his eyes. His head spun dizzily with questions he couldn’t answer.
What if he asked her to marry him? What then? And what if she said yes? Could he make her happy? He hadn’t made his first wife happy, and then she’d died and for a time he’d lost his way. And, of course, with his soiled reputation, Averil would be sure to be slighted and snubbed. She wouldn’t give up, she’d battle on, trying to reinstate him, trying to pretend this was what she wanted.
She’d be miserable.
And what about Eustace, who was so fond of her, and James, who was making a fool of himself over Beth? Not to mention her sister he was searching for, and the business with the Home and the missing girls?
Rufus cursed and wondered how he had managed to entangle himself in her life to this extent in so short a time.
A sound distracted him and he frowned and moved toward the door. Yes, there was definitely someone outside moving along the corridor. He opened his door and peered out.
Eustace was leading Hercules toward his room.
He thought about reprimanding the boy but he stopped himself. Eustace loved the creature, and why shouldn’t he have his dog, something of his own to love and that loved him? He’d been remiss in that, too, as well as not keeping a closer eye on Mrs. Slater. Rufus told himself he’d have to try harder to be a good father, but then losing the castle and the Mayfair house were hardly the actions of a good father, were they?
But would he be a good father if he saved them by marrying Averil?
