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Later that night, I thought I felt a hand running down my back and lingering over my butt. I could feel fingers squeeze one of the cheeks. I struggled to wake up, rolling over as I did, but by the time I was fully alert, I didn't see anyone else in the room. A little creeped out by what must have been a realistic dream, it took me awhile to fall back asleep.
I didn't know it was to be the first of many long, sleepless nights.
25
Jax
Memories camouflaging themselves as dreams disturbed more and more of my nights, which were restless enough as they were. I didn't need a psychology degree to figure out why. Trying—wanting—something more with Grace was akin to uprooting the past. The last time I'd wanted something with half as much energy it ended in disaster.
I'd fought that kind of vulnerability for years, and I'd sworn never again would I open myself up to that kind of life-changing pain. I took my frustrations out on myself to avoid hurting others. Over the course of time, I learned I could redirect my anger and emotions into work, fulfilling a need to be in charge and never at the beck and call or mercy of someone else. It was powerful, freeing, and rewarding.
Until it wasn't.
Until Grace.
She was a force I never saw coming, completely knocking me off my feet. Her sense of humor, compassion, and humility wore at me much the same way water smooths rocks—with consistency and perseverance. Without knowing it, she'd challenged me to see how empty my life was. Noah had been right. I didn't want to only see her in my past. I wanted her daily, and I was beginning to realize I wasn't seeing the future without her either. And the very near future was looking very promising.
I punched in a number on my phone. "Hey, I'm on my way. I should be there in about five minutes," I said as soon as I heard her voice answer her cell.
"I'll be ready!"
The smile on my face probably made me look like a fool as I drove toward her apartment but ask me if I cared. I was committed to trying to be more for her, and to my surprise, it wasn't difficult at all. I couldn't wait to get her away from work and all to myself. I'd rented a small cabin up in the mountains for the weekend, but that's all I'd told her. She needed a break, and I was going to give it to her.
I knew what it took to be successful in business, and I was impressed by the amount of effort she put into her career. But I also saw the toll it was taking on her. Her cheerful, yet sassy disposition was still in place, but it was obvious from the dark circles under her eyes that she was exhausted. The charity event dinner was a big undertaking to make sure everything went just right for the influential guests who would be coming.
The rest of her time was taken up with other projects she'd been hired for. It didn't matter that those weren't as “high-end” as the elite dinner; she gave all her clientele her best. I had listened in on a couple of evening phone conversations, and I knew she made each one of them feel as if she was working for them alone. And there was the carnival which I'd learned recently wasn't part of her original schedule, but because she loved the kids, she'd allowed them to talk her into volunteering to help them plan it. It was no small task. And as the two fundraisers drew closer, her attention to detail was at an all-time high. I was worried it was a matter of time before she broke.
Despite our busy schedules, we'd still managed to spend a couple of hours together nearly every night. For the first time, I found myself leaving work before eight o'clock at night. I was eager to see her and let her touch ease away the stresses of the day. Knowing she wouldn't stop to eat, I'd pick up dinner to bring to her, triggered by an unusual need to take care of someone else.
It wasn't the first time I'd ever treated a woman to dinner. It was just the first time it wasn't because of my convenience. Sometimes we both finished up a few items for work while we sat side by side on her couch. Other times we watched television or a movie. Every time ended up with kissing. It was my new favorite pastime and not something I'd done with other women unless I was sure it was going to lead to more. And always, we spent our time in her living room, where I felt more at home than in my apartment which now seemed to echo of its emptiness, despite the designer decor.
I knew she was becoming a frustrated with the way I'd kept her at somewhat of an arm's length, or at least a distance slightly longer than my dick's. I could feel her pulse race beneath my fingers and mouth as I kissed along her throat. I wasn't blind to the longing, sideways glances she cast at me, nor was I deaf to the sighs and moans as I pulled away after a long and enthusiastic make-out session on her couch.
And I wasn't immune either. My hand had become overly acquainted with my dick in the past weeks, and both were ready to make new acquaintances, as long as they were attached to Grace. I'd been ready since the moment I first saw her, but I wanted, needed her to know that she was more to me than a soft, warm body to fuck. It was a new concept to me. I'd never turned down a willing woman before. And even if she didn't need to be different, I did.
But tonight, I was hoping to change all that. Fortunately, she'd had enough foresight not to schedule any events the two weekends before her two fundraisers. So, technically she was free all of this weekend if I could pull her away. Convincing her to go out of town to the cabin I had rented for the weekend had taken some of my best persuasive tactics.
"What if I still have some work to do?"
"Let Jade take over." I leaned in to nuzzle her neck, lingering on the pulse that fluttered beneath my lips.
"But what will I tell my family? I've never gone away with a man before." Even as she found an excuse, she closed her eyes and rolled her head so I had better access.
"Whatever you want, or don't tell them at all. You're an adult." I nibbled along her ear. "Do you have to answer for everything?" I pulled her closer, breaking my distance rule. I let my fingers rest on the curves of her ass and squeezed. As I anticipated, she cuddled closer within the circle of my arms, sliding her arms up until her hands rested on my shoulders.
"No, but everyone will notice I'm not there at church. They'll ask all kinds of questions.'" The downside to such a close, loving, nosy family
"I know you feel like you owe them answers, but do you really? I want to take you somewhere. If it's that important, I can have you home by Sunday morning."
I felt her yielding. I rubbed my nose against hers, and as her lips parted in anticipation, I thrust my hips forward a touch. She couldn't help but notice how much I wanted her. Her breath hitched as I nibbled my way down her neck and along the top of her shirt.
"Let's do it," she gasped. "You're right. I'm a grown woman who can make her own choices."
"That a girl.” I rewarded her with a long, sweet kiss; a promise of what to look forward to.
She pulled back enough to look up at me, a gleam dancing in her eyes. "Just remember, Daddy will kill you if he finds out you've stolen me away for a romantic weekend."
I knew I was in deep when that threat didn't intimidate me. "It will be worth it. A dying man's last wish. Which if I don't have you soon is what I'm going to be anyway."
