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31
Grace
Jax rolled to his side. I was instantly chilled both inside and out, scared he was pulling away from me again. But he remained next to me. He traced his fingers over my face. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. You deserve better than a fast fuck on a hard floor. Are you okay?"
I leaned up on my elbow, so I was facing him. I kissed his finger when it strayed toward my mouth.
Then I balled up my fist and hit him. I'm pretty sure my hand hurt more than his arm full of muscle, but he got the point. Sort of.
"Ow!" His face registered his shock. "What was that for?" I reached for his shirt and stood, pulling it on. I had to hold the material together with my hands since the buttons were scattered across his floor.
"That's for apologizing! Why do you keep focusing on what you think I deserve?" I stomped my foot. "Did you think that was a solo act just now?"
He started to smirk but wisely concealed it when he saw my look of anger. He grabbed his pants and was in the process of pulling them on when I advanced on him, poking his chest. "I wanted that, too, Jaxson Carter. Did it ever occur to you that I'm willing to take whatever you're willing to give? That maybe I don't always want to be treated like a fragile flower?"
"I—"
“I don’t care if it’s during sex or if there’s something else bothering you. Like tonight. Even if you don’t tell me what happened, don’t shut me out. Let me be here for you.”
He bowed his head. Were we back to where we were when I arrived? I twisted the hem of his shirt contemplating where to go. How did I fight for us when he wouldn’t let me in? I contemplated hitting him again, but my hand still ached from the last time.
“I know Gene Carlin.”
I looked across the room to see him sitting on the edge of the couch. His pants were unbuttoned, and his hair was still mussed. He looked incredibly sexy, except for the strained look on his face.
“You do? How?”
He leaned forward on his elbows. He cocked his head and stared at the floor. “He was my stepfather. For almost two years.”
For a change, I was speechless. Jax had never mentioned that his mother remarried.
“It was just a shock to see him tonight. I didn’t know he lived here.”
“You don’t stay in touch?”
“No.”
“I’m sorry. What happened?”
“Don’t be. And let’s just say it worked out better for everyone when the marriage dissolved. Seeing him just brought back some unpleasant memories.”
That was a little puzzling to me. Jax’s mama seemed so warm and friendly, and Dr. Carlin had always come across quiet to me, but no matter the circumstances, I supposed divorce was never pleasant. And who knew what happened behind closed doors; sometimes people brought out the worst in each other. I had a feeling there was more to the story, but I decided not to push it. Jax was obviously not used to opening up to people, and this was a big first step for him.
“Thank you for telling me. Maybe next time I won’t have to hit you so hard.” I fisted one hand into the palm of my other.
This time, he couldn't hide his grin. "I gotta say, this feisty side is kind of a turn-on. Let's go to bed."
"Jax!"
He blew out a long breath. "I'm trying, Grace. I've never cared what anyone I dated thought of me before. They could take me or leave me. I didn't care. I've already told you you're different. You matter. I care what you think. I don't want you to see the ugly side of me, of my past because..."
I held my breath when he hesitated. "Because why?"
His expression was urgent. "Because I don't want to lose you. I can't. It's like I've spent most of my life wearing dark sunglasses. And then you came along and removed them . Suddenly everything's brighter and a rainbow of color. And now, no matter how hard I try, I can't put those damn glasses back on.
"But my past isn't bright. It's dark and ugly, but it's shaped me into the person I am." He drew me close. "I'm sorry I shut you out tonight. I'm so used to only depending on myself. It was easy to slip into old habits. I'm not used to someone fighting for me."
"Well, that's what a person does when they love someone." I froze. I hadn't meant to say that.
