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We'd gotten along pretty well when I was little, but she always had a selfish streak. She'd fed me, but not until she'd gotten the biggest or better part of whatever we were eating. If we got any new toys or games, she was the one who got to try it out first. And if our daddy happened to be having a good evening where he was acting a little affectionate, she made sure she was the one who got to sit on his lap in his recliner while I sat on the floor at his feet.
I rarely complained. One of the few times I did, my father gave me a disgusted look and told me that good girls didn't complain. Then he dumped Charly from his lap and stormed off to his bedroom. We almost immediately heard the clink of bottles. My big sister had glared at me with a look of almost hatred.
From then on, I was careful to be a 'good girl,' always trying to avoid a fuss, always putting everyone else's needs ahead of mine in the hopes that someday they'd appreciate everything I did and love me.
It never happened. Not even when I made the split-second decision that changed a lot of lives.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Whatever Charly’s motivation, genuine or devious, I wasn't going to play along. Whatever worries she had lay at her feet. I was neither responsible nor interested.
I closed my eyes and hugged the book and necklace close. I had them back, and I would cherish them as much as I ever had, no matter how I’d gotten them.
16
Holt
I groaned in pleasure as I sprawled on a chair with my pants pooled around my ankles. I stared through half-opened eyes at the woman from the bar kneeling between my legs. She'd introduced herself as Michelle, but it was a name that I wouldn't be calling again, so it didn't really matter. I'd made it clear I was only interested in the next couple of hours and she agreed, saying she was only in town visiting friends and looking for a distraction.
Once we got to her hotel room, she didn't waste time pushing me into a chair and sinking to her knees. She fisted me in her hand, running it up and down my length several times before licking the head. Her lascivious eyes rose to mine as she took me in her mouth. She definitely knew what she was doing. I twisted her hair around my fist and held her head while she sucked and licked me even harder.
Knowing it wouldn't take long to find completion, I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the chair and let myself enjoy her obvious skills. There was no need to draw our time together out; I was here for only one reason. I didn't need to look at her as she worked her mouth up and down my cock. I didn't care what emotions flickered across her face because I wasn't interested in her. I'd make sure she was equally pleasured and then be on my way. I understood that made me a huge ass. I owned that; no need to try to pretend otherwise.
After Claire, women were merely a pleasant diversion, a warm place in which to find relief when jerking off in the shower didn't cut it anymore. The first time I'd had sex after Claire died, I'd suffered so much guilt I rushed to the finish line. As soon as it was over, I went home and drank until I passed out. Having sex with other women had grown easier over time, but it remained what it was - only raw physical pleasure.
This evening wasn't supposed to be any different. Usually, I pulled images of Claire from my memory bank while I got off, but tonight I couldn't move past visions of soft, dark auburn curls and brown and green eyes. My balls tightened as I pictured Maddy's mouth sucking me.
"I'm going to come," I warned. I was a gentleman, after all; I didn't want to assume she was going to swallow anything.
She grunted and sucked even harder, and within seconds I groaned loudly and shot my load down her throat, the entire time envisioning Maddy's face.
Michelle released me from her mouth and stood gracefully. She straddled my legs and settled on my lap, grinding her warm center over my still semi-hard dick. She leaned forward, but I grabbed her hair and pulled her head back before her mouth made a connection with mine.
I never kissed anyone. To me, kissing was an intimate sign of affection between true lovers, not just two people randomly fucking.
I hadn't kissed any woman since Claire.
Her pout turned into a gasp as I palmed one of her breasts through her blouse and leaned forward, gently biting the other nipple through the material. Her head fell back as I began to unbutton her blouse, allowing my fingers to drag along her bare skin. Her moan was only overshadowed by the ringing of my cell phone.
"Don't answer it," she begged when she noticed my efforts froze.
I was tempted to comply with her wishes. Michelle had a beautiful body, and I could easily go one more round with her, maybe more if it helped me work Maddy's image from my brain. Plus, I owed her an orgasm. But as the Imperial March, my ringtone for John McCloskey, continued to play on my phone I knew I needed to answer it. He wouldn't call this late on a Friday night if something important hadn't come up. I fumbled for my phone, nearly knocking her off my lap as I reached for my pants. She clung tight and ground harder.
"Hello?"
"Holt. I'm glad I reached you."
"What can I do for you?" I barely contained my hiss as Michelle continued to grind against my dick, which was beginning to respond again at her touch.
"I need you to find Madelyn."
"Madelyn? What do you mean 'find' her?" My attention was immediately diverted from my dick to the fear I heard in John's voice. I grabbed Michelle's waist to halt her erotic motions.
"I received a security call that her apartment building is on fire, and I have no idea how bad it is or where she is." Abruptly, I pushed a very frustrated woman off my lap and quickly began to redress, ignoring the scowl on her face. I couldn't stop the rush of fear that chilled the fist-sized space in my chest.
Maybe not so empty after all, I thought as I recalled James’s words that I still had a heart.
"Obviously, she isn't answering her phone, but I'm still out of town and can't go check on her. Damn it! Why didn't we make sure she had a cell phone?" There was a crackling noise, and a female voice sounded in the background, followed by John's hushing and assurances he was doing what he could. "Emma and I will try to get back tomorrow, but in the meantime, I need to know she's safe and taken care of. Find her and put her up in a hotel until we learn how much damage there is."
There was another scuffling noise, and Mrs. McCloskey's panicked voice sounded on the phone. "Holt, dear, please find her! She's been through enough without this happening."
