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Her face was pale, making her eyes look even larger than usual.
"One day, a unit was traveling to a small town known to be fairly U.S. friendly, but you can never one hundred percent trust the intelligence that comes through. They found some suspicious depressions in the ground, so EOD was called in to check it out. Sure enough, some hostiles had infiltrated the town and had set up an ambush with armed militants. It felt like bullets were raining everywhere. Normally, we would have been well protected because of being suited up to check out the possible IED, but they struck before we had time to suit up. We returned fire and called for backup which was close behind. Several of my guys were struck and left stranded in the road. Once the tanks rolled in they took out the hostiles, but not before several of us were killed or injured, including me.”
“That’s how you got the medals in your living room?”
"Mmhmm. I ended up spending a couple of weeks in a hospital in Landstuhl, Germany before coming home to finish recovering. While I did, my re-enlistment came up, but I decided it was more honorable to Claire to live out my promise to finish my degree than it was to die over her memory. It took the help of some well-spoken words by a chaplain who came to visit me several times as well as the angrier words of my mom. Seeing her face when she saw me in the hospital bed and the worry on my father's face reminded me I did still have a family. And they loved me as strongly as I did Claire. And so here I am."
"And here you are. That's quite a story, Holt. I...I still don't know what to say except that Claire was a lucky woman to have had you. And I'm very grateful you made it home."
So lost in retelling the story, I hadn't even realized I'd gotten up again and begun to pace my study again until I felt her press herself against me in a hug. Her gestures were full of comfort, acceptance, and sympathy all swirled together, all giving and no taking. I held on tight, soaking up whatever balm she was filling me with, and for the first time in a long time, my soul felt at rest.
21
Maddy
I picked at a small piece of fuzz on my new borrowed sweater while we drove to Holt's parent's house. To say I was nervous was an understatement. I'd tried everything I could think of to get out of going, but Holt said it was always fun times and good food. Besides, he said, his mother insisted, and he wasn't going to start disobeying her now. He'd winked and laughed, but his statement only made it worse. I was intimidated at being surrounded by what sounded like such a close-knit family.
"Relax. It's just a carefree afternoon and dinner. Why does that make you so nervous?"
"I didn't grow up in your kind of family, Holt. We didn't have Sunday dinners. Your family is a bit overwhelming to someone like me." I crossed my arms in a bit of a defensive gesture. "And I'm not like Claire." I hated how that sounded like a pout, but there it was - my new biggest insecurity.
He didn't answer, but I felt the truck lurch forward a little faster, so I knew he'd heard me and was probably pissed at me again. It didn’t help my nerves which had been stretched to the limit over that past twenty-four hours. To say they’d been a whirlwind was an understatement - Charly, the fire, Holt’s tragic reveal, and then a very long interview by first the fire marshal and then the police that took up most of yesterday afternoon.
Holt had stayed by my side the entire time. Mr. M had shown up as well. At least this time I was well represented legally. Their belief in me gave me the confidence to keep calm and answer all the questions, even those that sometimes sounded accusatory. I knew the officers were just doing their job, covering all angles and making sure I wasn’t involved in any kind of crime. But having been tripped up by the law once before, it wasn’t a far stretch for me to believe I’d be unjustly accused a second time.
Holt was silent the remaining few minutes it took to make the rest of the trip, and by the time we pulled into the driveway of a beautiful red brick home, I was sick with misery. He turned the engine off but didn't make any move to get out. I certainly wasn't anxious to face his family, so I sat, too.
He stared at the house over the steering wheel. "No, you definitely aren't Claire,” he stated, and my heart sunk. Maybe I could make an excuse of being sick and call a cab. I could find my way back to his apartment and be packed and gone by the time the dinner was over.
“Claire was beautiful, gracious, and kind, no question,” he continued. He pried my hand off my leg where it was biting into my thigh to distract me from crying. He kissed the back of my hand, and I looked up, startled by his gesture. “I may not know the kind of life you lived before we met, but the Madelyn Stone I know is strong, smart, and just as pretty. My family will see her the same way. I only wish you could see her that way, too."
Stunned by his words, I could only stare at him.
"What do you say, Maddy? Give us a chance?” He winked at me. “I promise, I'm the worst of the bunch, and you've managed to survive me. And my mom wouldn't have insisted that you come if she didn't like who she met yesterday."
His words cracked open a vault of need. The longing for acceptance and love of a family pumped out and spilled into my veins and pulsed throughout my body. If Holt, who knew the worst part of my
ugly past and still saw me this way and was willing to share his family with me, I would accept it.
"Okay." I smiled shyly. He squeezed my hand and hopped out of the truck. I sat for the few seconds, trying to calm my heart. He opened my door with a smile, and I accepted his help getting down. The butterflies in my stomach were still there, but the pit of dread was gone.
The front door opened, and his mom moved down to the front step. Before anyone could say anything, a 'woof' sounded and a huge black blur came barreling at us. It attacked Holt first, then suddenly a long pink tongue and black fur found me, knocking me on my butt. I laughed as I tried to avoid getting licked across the mouth.
"Buddy! Down, boy," I heard Holt call. The large dog sat, his tail continuing to wag while his tongue licked my hands.
I managed to get to my knees. "Oh, you're a big boy, aren't you," I crooned, using both hands to scratch behind his ears.
"Okay, Buddy. Leave her alone."
I stood as Buddy ran back to Holt, and gave him a lick before running back to me. As I reached down to pet the beautiful lab, Buddy rolled over on his back. "Oh, you wanna a tummy rub?" I squatted and ran my fingers up and down his stomach.
"I'll be damned," a new voice said.
I glanced up and saw a man I'd never met watching me. Embarrassed, I stood and wiped my hands on my pants. Buddy sat at my feet, tongue lolling out of his mouth and tail wagging up a storm of dirt.
"Hey, Buddy," the man said, holding his left hand out to the dog. Buddy's ears perked up and licked his hand, but never moved from my side.
The man who looked so much like Holt he had to be his brother grinned and held out his clean hand. "Hi, I'm Cal. I've never seen that dog leave Holt's side when he comes home. You're either some kind of sorceress or a steak in disguise." He waggled his eyebrows up and down, leaned toward me, and whispered, "And despite the fact my little brother is looking at you like a piece of meat ,as well as glaring like he wants to kill me for being this close, I'm guessing you’re the former.” He winked and stepped back.
